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My family frustrate me so much!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Olli, Jul 6, 2013.

  1. Olli

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    So I've just finished arguing with my parents again. My dad is so ridiculous - I'll just make one off-hand remark that in no way is malicious and he just interprets it his own way and starts an argument. Whenever I try and clarify that I was not trying to argue with him, he just shouts at me, claims I started the argument and says I'm disrespectful to him! It might be helpful to add that I respect my parents so much - I work hard for them, I do so much out of school to make them proud and never get in trouble for anything really. I just like to stand up for myself. Anyway, this triggers a massive argument with both of them and it just explodes into ridiculousness! Has anyone had a similar experience with their parents?

    The reason behind this specific argument was they asked me to do some work in the garden tomorrow, then told me we were going out in the afternoon and evening. I was quite happy to do the gardening, but I just said I wanted some time to relax tomorrow. I have just finished my exams, and have done 4 big shows this year and this evening was the final night of the fifth one. I have been doing loads of stuff since exams, some of it was stuff I wanted to do but I am still shattered. I don't really sleep much at night, I really struggle and so I'm so stressed.

    I also spend so long counselling my best friends about their relationship with each other, and numerous others. But whenever anyone asks me if I'm alright I just say I'm ok because I don't like spilling out my feelings, and despite all the problems they know about - they know I'm gay, have problems at home, don't sleep, am ridiculously busy and have trouble talking about my feelings - they just crack on telling me about their own issues. My mum is always asking me to look out for brother and always asks me if I think he is happy and alright - no one worries about me. They know I don't sleep, I've told them I'm depressed and I tho k I might be bipolar but still they just disregard that - I work so hard, don't do any drugs or stay out late and yet they still lay into me.

    I was considering coming out to them because they don't appreciate anything I'm going through. Because I put a brave face on things, they just assume I'm fine. They never even ask me how I am, and when I say I'm tired/sad/depressed they just brush it off saying something like I should get more exercise - I get plenty of exercise by the way. I'm just worried that they'll just brush off me coming out and not appreciate what I'm going through. I don't even know if I'm ready to tell them, I'm just fed up of them not understanding everything I have to tackle in everyday life.

    Sorry, I just spewed everything that was building up inside me for about two years onto this post, but I would really appreciate some support and guidance. Hell, you'd be the only ones.

    Thanks guys
     
  2. campervankid

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    They shouldn't disregard you being bipolar and should try to understand more how things might be more stressful. Maybe if you did come out to them and talked to them about how stressed you are they will appreciate what you are going through more. Sorry I'm not too good with guidance or advice but you have my full support (*hug*) - free hug because there is nothing better than a free hug (except peanut butter!).
     
  3. Kamina

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    I get into arguments over nonconfrontational coments all the time with my parents. Mostly my mother, and I completely understand what you mean about respecting them and yet wanting to stand up for yourself. I also care a lot aboit what they think of me and so I work very hard in school and other things that i do. It's a hard path especially if you have sibilings like me who can joke their way out of any unpleasent situation leaving you in the dust.

    If you are feeling like you may be bipolar or depressed you need to get help. Isthere anyone who you can talk to and who can maybe help you to get help?? (Lol confusing sentence)

    Also coming from a cronic councillor to friends, make sure that you aren't putting everyone before yourself. That was one of the major parts of me being depressed, I could give great advice but I never asked for help with my own problems. You just end up feeling alone. I don't sleep much and am usually very busy too. It's difficult but not always something you can help. TRY not to over book yourself, that's the worst, when you are sleep deprived and dong 20 things a day.

    Hope that was the kind of support and guidence that you were looking for (*hug*) just know you certainly aren't alone. Feel free to message me if you want to talk
     
  4. FluffyKinz

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    Sounds similar to mine. Once you are what they consider to be a bit of an over-achiever and a pleaser, they probably wont take it seriously until you stop taking on their burdens.. Get it to show a little more how you feel. Like not keeping your feelings in at all (and i mean to a whole new level). When they vent on you, show them that you can't deal with their stress ontop of yours. Practically force them to listen or notice. If they don't then keep venting on here? It helps allot. I honestly think they will take it more seriously when you start to rebel a bit more, help out less, show them that YOU are the one who needs help right now. Your feelings matter just as much as theirs!