i have a friend that i'm not attracted to sexually or emotionally. she's not attractive (to me) and there's quirks in her personality that piss me off way too much to ever want to be with her. however, she's crazy about me. its took me about 2 years to finally get her off my back about getting together. we had to have multiple heart to heart conversations for her to understand that i just don't feel that way about her. but she's a loyal friend and i enjoy being her friend, so the friendship still stands. i am an idiot when i drink. when i'm drunk the mood i'm in before i drink, just escalates. 2 nights ago i got black out drunk and for whatever stupid reason i sent her a bunch of texts (that hardly made sense) but for whatever reason i just kept saying i wanted to be with her. i don't even remember sending these. i literally woke up yesterday morning, looked at my phone and face-palmed. now she's on my case again. i keep trying to explain that i was drunk and of course she whips out the old cliche: "drunk words are sober thoughts." and i can tell you from a first hand experience that this isn't always true. she won't leave me alone. like i'm at the point where i just want to shut her out of my life, but once again, i enjoy being her friend. and it's not like this is her fault, it's mine. so i feel bad. but i mean, holy shit. if i don't like you like that, i just don't fucking like you like that. you know? what the hell do i do?
While I get what you mean, think about it from her perspective. She's crazy for you. You established you didn't want her. She probably reluctantly accepted that fact, to some degree. You turned around and told her you wanted her. She's probably beyond ecstatic, because her crush actually wanted her. What she's doing is annoying and a bit unfair to you, but it isn't unreasonable given the circumstances. I guess the best idea is to sit her down properly (explain to her beforehand that it is not a date, but you need to talk) and explain to her that while you are her friend, you really don't like her that way. You're sorry, but there's nothing that will make you feel that way. And if she can't respect your wishes, then perhaps you need to spend time away from each other as friends. Also explain to her that you made a big mistake and you really didn't mean what you said because you were drunk. And finally, if you're getting drunk to the point you're not controlling your actions, perhaps you need to consider not drinking that much anymore.
i understand what you're saying. it's 100% my fault and i take full responsibility. it's just really hard for me to put logic behind her mentality because i'm the type of person where if you say you don't want to be with me, then you don't. i don't need to be told 50 times. it just annoys me because she argues with me about my own feelings. i can't logically understand how she doesn't understand. if that makes sense? i know i need to control my drinking, i often get wasted but never do i ever pull any kind of shit like this. i guess i can try to sit her down for the 100th time in the past 2 years but if she doesn't get it, it might just be time to remove her from my life. sure, it's my fault. but if she's that obsessed with me, it might be for the best.
