My husband hates that I'm bi-sexual!

I've been bi, or known I was bi rather, since I was 14 years old. I had relationships with men and women but ended up with a man. I have been with him since I was 17 and we have been married 5 years. I love him and am happy and satisfied with him. Our sex life is great, our chemistry is great. The issue is my husband doesn't like that I'm bi. He thinks when we got married I should have stopped identifying as bi, and that I'm not really bi because bi doesn't exist. I told him I am pretty much equally attracted to men and women. He doesn't understand why I look at more women than men,and is always asking if I am a lesbian and going to leave him for a woman. to me it's apples and oranges. I get what I need from a man from him, so I don't look at/fantasize about other men. But I do miss being with women, so I fantasize as an outlet. I wish he would look at it as something unique about me, and that we could maybe use it to connect during sex. But instead he looks at me like I'm a freak. When we watch porn together he picks what kind he wants then asks what I want. If I pick girl-on-girl he sits there uncomfortable the entire time and then tells me it's boring and asks if we can watch something else. I want him to think it's sexy when I get off but instead I can't even really relax and focus because I feel like he is looking at me judgmentally or repulsively. He swears he has no problem with bi people or gays. I think he is just insecure that maybe I like women more than I like him. Any advice on how to deal with this??:bang:

 

I keep trying to talk to him but I feel like he isn't really listening. He might hear the words but that's it. so I decided to stop trying to get him to understand. I have reassured him 5,000 times. but I feel like I cannot let it go because now that I feel like he's judging me I can't really relax or let go during sex. It's making me tense and uptight

 

The more we are talking about it the more he is hurting my feelings. He just told me that I don't have a sexual identity anymore because I'm married. That when you get married you don't need to label yourself bisexual because all it means is you are interested in screwing other women. I feel like he doesn't get it at all. It's not just sexual. It's about the ability to connect with other people and it reflects what kind of person I am and is a part of my personality.

 

You do not get what I am saying at all. Are you married? If not, then you really don't understand what it's like and therefore have no right to judge or hand down advice. Just because you get married doesn't mean you stop being attracted to everyone else. If you think that you are in for a rude awakening if you ever get married. The issue is it is a part of my identity and is NOT all about sex. I'm sorry if you don't understand the depth to it.