Hi everyone. I need some advice. I'm 20, and I'm a very open gay guy. I am effeminate, but not extremely. I have this friend that I work with that I've known for 9 months now, he's 27 and we have a great connection, he knows i'm gay, and is very comfortable and open around me. I often am very physical in my feelings for him and will often rub his back/arm, and knee/thigh. The only thing, is that he's "straight". at the beginning of our friendship, I started to have a crush on this straight guy that i've known forever, and when I mentioned it to him, he said i should tell him how I feel. When I said that I didn't want to ruin the friendship, he said "if one of my guy friends told me he liked me, it wouldn't change a thing with our friendship, and I wouldn't act any different around him" he's stuck by me at the worst point in my life, and reassures me when I need him. I treat him exceptionally well, and will often go out of my way to do nice things for him like bake him cupcakes, or cookies, I make us lunches to take to work. I treat him like he's my boyfriend. Lately, I've started to develop very strong feelings for him, feelings I've not had for any other person, he gives off a lot of gay vibes towards me. Him and I are always hanging out together at work, and talking up a storm where he often leans in to get closer,and more intimate. he always asks where I am at work, if he cannot find me. We work with basically 100 people at a outdoor waterpark, and all of them are under 28. around 80% of those people have asked me if he's gay, or if we are together, just by his demeanor around me at work. We live in the same small town, and often drive to work together. his tastes in music are the exact same as mine (top 40, and older songs that used to be top 40). lately he's been very interested in knowing all about my sex life, which I along with several of my female and male friends find strange that a straight guy would be wanting to know intimate details. He's aware I'm a bottom, and asks questions like "do you like blowjobs" "do you like facials, do you spit/swallow, do you own a dildo, what positions I've tried/liked. All of which I answer truthfully. he knows every detail about my sex life and interests more than anybody else. when we where driving home together last week, we got onto the topic of gay bars (we've discussed it before and he said he'd take me to one), and male strip clubs, to which he said he would gladly go with me to one. he started asking if I've ever had a guy give me a lap dance, and when I said no, he replied "I'd let a guy give me one, just to see what it's like". he never talks about specific girls he likes, or mentions ex girlfriends, never gives me names, and rarely mentions them. He will only say a girls hot, if he notices that I'm checking them out (they're in bikinis, so it's hard not to appreciate their bodies LOL). however after I came home from pride he texted me asking how it was, and when I saw him the first thing out of his mouth was "did you hookup?!" when I told him I met a guy I fooled around with, he got defensive, then immediately started telling me that he fingered a girl that weekend, but never told me who. (keep in mind, i've not verbally told him I have feelings for him). Yesterday when he was driving us home from work, I began to rub his knee/thigh playfully which he replied "easy there. don't give me a boner" with a huge smile on his face. he also loves shopping at designer clothing stores, and says that he'll take me out to dinners, but never does. it's one big mind fuck to me. I'm so very confused by the vibes he gives me, he does things that make me think he feels the same for me, but then goes and discusses girls on occasion. I don't know how to handle this, and it makes me moody with him. I'm petrified to tell him my feelings, for fear of rejection, because it's happened in the past with straight guys I've crushed on. the straight guys in the past, haven't given me any vibes, especially not like this. however if he asked if I liked him I would be honest and tell him the truth.
I think your friend is gay, and likes you. Its usually hard to know for sure when a guy is into you, but I definetly think this one is. I think that he knows you like him too, you should go for it. You'll never know if you can fly if you miss the chance to try. <3
thank you. I think so too. however i've told him several times if he ever needs to talk i'll always be there to listen and that i'd never betray his trust. he means the world to me. I honestly believe he's my soulmate.
It sounds like he could either be very open and confident, and/or curious. I say curiosity with uncertainty because a heterosexual who is open and confident about their sexuality would have a problem discussing sexual interactions with their gay friends. Although he does seem to be a bit more curious in the sense of actually wanting to experience something himself, it could definitely go either way. From my experience, I have learned that things can be a bit more complex when you are non-predominantly-masculine male. I have noticed that there tends to be a bit of a different dynamic if you have straight male and a more feminine gay male because unlike many of the straight male's other male friends, the feminine male holds some of the psychological and emotional qualities that he might usually only find in other women; so there are times when a more feminine male holds the mental qualities and connections a heterosexual male might look for in a partner, but not the physical components. I would say that it could really go either way. As for advice, I wouldn't just lay it all on him. If he is so interested in your love life, I would try to use that to your advantage. Start gearing the conversation to whether he would be with another man, why he is so interested in what you are doing, is he curious, etc?
I say test him out. He obviously has some type of feelings for you wether, he's starting to like guys in general or just develop feelings for you. Put your hand on his hand and if he doesnt move it try interlocking fingers while having a conversation. If he does something nice or foes out of his wag to help you hug him passionately and maybe show you are interested physically but subtly. It seems he's curious, but mostly interested in you. Most of the gay questions he asked are centered around you and that might be a sign that he is sexually attracted to you. Asking what positions you like, facials? No straight guy I know asks questions like that un less they're in the closet. Just try getting more physically intimite. And after a while if he doesnt show much response or restraint then tell him how you feel. But if he quickly tells you to stop or that he's straight maybe its just a Bromance. ---------- Post added 10th Jul 2013 at 10:44 AM ---------- sorry for all the spelling errors xD i hope i helped.
the moment we met I felt a strong bond, he honestly feels so right to me and I can see when I look in his eyes deeply he cares a great deal for me, whether it be a strong friendship or possibly as someone he loves. I do think I should start to tell him how I feel, I get really moody with him at times, from being so insecure. although i'm terrified of the notion to tell him I'm in love with him. I've never dated a guy before, so he's the first guy i'd be with on an emotional level.
It seems as if he is testing the waters and almost begging for you to ask him out, I believe that he isn't straight (bisexual leaning straight maybe but not straight) considering what you have described of him and that he shows signs of liking you.. but he seems hesitant... from what you described he generally doesn't take the first move in the relationship, even though you enjoy being the bottom (which generally indicates submissive behavior), you might have to assertive in moving the relationship forward until he feels comfortable enough to be who his is around you... if you need help being risky, if he says "What are you trying to do get me hard?" or some variation of that again, reply back with "do you want me to?" in a playful manner... make him blush!!! It seems as if you two have chemistry, so ask him out for a drink at a gay bar, take him to dinner, put yourself out there because he seems to want you to!!!! If your worried about him being your first boyfriend then date another guy first, NOTE THAT THIS CAN JEOPARDIZE YOUR RELATIONSHIP, if you don't do it in the proper manner as he shows signs of being really possessive over you by trying to make you jealous with this "girl he fingered"... tell him that you like him (not love yet as it might creep him out at this point especially if he's still questioning himself) regardless of what you do... if you decide to date a guy before him and he gets upset or visibly jealous that you are dating another guy say that it is not because you don't still like him but rather because you don't want him to be "simply an experiment" to each other as he deserve better then that from you... (*hug*) I hope this helps :goodluck: keep me informed on whatever you do, will ya!!!
Simple question: why wouldn't he tell you at this point if he were gay if 1) he is comfortable with homosexuality and 2) is aware that you like him?
Hi everyone. He is aware I like him. he asked a friend if I like him, she didn't confirm or deny it either, but I haven't told him verbally yet. When I saw him today, I was talking with him when he turned around and told me that his "right testicle hurts so bad!" When I asked if he was okay, he said "want to examine it for yourself?" In a "jokingly" manner.
So you obviously have a hard time verbally expressing your feelings towards him. Get physical ! :eusa_danc haha. But seriously, he shows alot of interest, or so it seems. His jokes are pretty intimate so respond in the same manner. As for getting physical. You say you touch is leg/thigh sometimes, try running you fingers through his hair (I do that alot with friends, its addicting. haha.) Maybe you're behind him, give him a brief shoulder massage, guys and girls like it ! (I've also done this) And if he enjoys it or says something like 'why'd you stop?' then there ya go ! but if you get a negative response to either gestures 'woah. what are you doing?' or 'dude. im straight, remember?' then maybe its just a bromance. I'm in a similar position as you though, but except im in the closet and the guy I'm involved with isn't as verbally intimate but we are very physical :icon_wink but again you never know. You have to stick your feet in the pool before you jump in. Test him out. See his reaction to certain physical gestures you make, and try to address and respond to his sexual/intimate jokes in the same manner he delivers them, maybe you'll get some type of reaction from a few slightly flirtatious conversations. Wish you luck man. (!) :smilewave
Tonights the night! Tonight I asked him to come over after work so I could tell him how I feel. I'm so very nervous, I've never actually told a guy I liked him before, let alone a straight one. Here's wishing I have a happy ending!
I told him that I liked him, he tolde he was straight and that the feelings wherent mutual. I've been crying all morning. I'm pretty sure I lost him as my friend too. Its hard to be proud of being gay when you're constantly let down, and rejected. I honestly don't know what I've done to warrent me being this unhappy.
Hi Carfan92 (fellow GTA'er ;-), I'm sorry you had to be so disappointed. I am in a similar friendship (bromance, I guess) as you can see from several of my posts, and I recognize your hopes, despair and trying to read every response as a confirmation for what you hope (aka that he is gay and into you). He might still be but too afraid to admit, but from my experience, once they make it very clear they are not into other guys, there is little you can do. I would try to keep his friendship if you can, because obviously, you and he share a lot of trust and companionship. Even if you can't become lovers (I know it hurts a lot), you can still stay friends. It will take a while to get over the feelings of being rejected, but over time you (and I) will have to learn that people may look gay, talk about gay stuff, like to be around gay people, but in the end still are straight or so locked up in the closet they won't come out. I never thought that was possible, but I'm learning the hard way and so do you it seems. I feel for you **HUGS**.
Hi Carfan92, was wondering how you are doing? You ended the threat while being very depressed about your last encounter with your straight friend. I hope all is well and you found a way to regain the friendship, even when there is no further hope for more than that. Let us know if you please, that you're alright!
I strongly think he likes you and he knows you like him I think you should go for it before you miss the chance.
Hi everyone, Our friendship isn't what it was since I told him I liked him. We hardly talk now. I just can't seem to get over him. I've kept my distance from him, and I just can't get over him. I feel like it's such a lost cause... He won't let me touch him at all now, even if it's his shoulder.
