1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

i think a guy is into me and "threw me a softball" and i didnt take it

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by sunnii, Jul 10, 2013.

  1. sunnii

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2012
    Messages:
    428
    Likes Received:
    0
    There's a guy at work I've been friendly for about a year and a half. My friends have joked that he's had a thing for me and joke that we should get together. Anyway we've been texting a bit and there has been some flanter (flirty banter). I'm so new to this but I saw some signs like him texting me 1st just to say hey or the "that text was for someone else" trick. And he sent me one tonight with just a face so I asked what's up and he was telling me what's on his mind and then said he wants to find someone he clicks with.

    Now that last bit seemed like an open goal for me but I crapped out of it. I've never been in this scenario before and I'm still too scared to get shot down.I thought if he's into me he'd just ask. He's older than me and knows that I've never been with anyone. Other thing is though as much as I like him, I don't fancy him and that's probably why I'm hesitant. I've been wanting to get in the dating scene for so long I'm surprised at my attitude (part of me still doubts he has a thing for me but that's probably my low self esteem talking).
     
  2. carfan92

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2013
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Are you both out?

    maybe he feels like he wants you to make the first move because he isn't out?
     
  3. sunnii

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2012
    Messages:
    428
    Likes Received:
    0



    He's out and has dated guys. He's in his mid 20s so I thought he'd be a bit more upfront (maybe that's a bad choice of word) and asked me out.
     
  4. carfan92

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2013
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    do you know if he gets gay vibes from you? it depends on the dynamic of your friendship. Are you the more dominant assertive one whereas he's the more feminine one?
     
  5. AAASAS

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2012
    Messages:
    1,330
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Toronto Area
    Why do you care if you don't want to date him

    It's seems like you didn't take it because you don't like his softballs, pun intended.
     
  6. sunnii

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2012
    Messages:
    428
    Likes Received:
    0


    I'm out and he told me he knew as soon as we met. I'm more effeminate than him. He's not super macho but hee isn't effeminate at all.

    ---------- Post added 11th Jul 2013 at 08:48 PM ----------



    I'm like I really want to start dating but I don't fancy him so I feel bad just going out with him for the sake ofit
     
  7. HeyAshley

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2013
    Messages:
    261
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Midwest, USA
    if you're not interested then i wouldn't worry about whether or not he likes you. no sense in starting a relationship just for the hell of it. that's how people get their feelings hurt.
     
  8. resu

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2013
    Messages:
    4,968
    Likes Received:
    395
    Location:
    Oklahoma City
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    ^This, but don't lead him on a wild goose chase. If you just want to be friends, then act like a friend or be upfront with him.