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How to tell someone that you like them

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by josh9623, Jul 10, 2013.

  1. josh9623

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    I have been taking a week long class that started on monday, and there is one guy in my class who I like. I would really like to be at least friends with him, and that's how I'll try to start, but how should I go about telling him I'm gay, and that I like him? I might have a chance to talk to him today, but I don't want to be around anyone else in the class if I were to bring up my sexuality at all. It is a small class (5 students) and while I wouldn't consider the other three students homophobic, they are definitely too immature to overhear me saying I'm gay.

    He teaches sailing, which I have been wanting to learn about so I may bring that up, and see if he would be interested in teaching me after I get back from New York. How does this sound? Does anyone have any suggestions?
     
  2. wboii

    wboii Guest

    Have you ever made friends before? Do the same. If he asks if your gay/bisexual then answer him truthfully but dont just go pouring your heart out to some guy you think is attractive. From what i've read you barely know him, he could be totally different from how he is in class or even in school in general. Get to know him first. Then come back for advice.

    Not trying to sound mean but your situation is barely developed to be asking for help on the internet. I'm sure your decisive and independent, just talk to the guy. You guys barely know each other, you're looking too deep into this, I bet he doesnt even know your last name :grin:

    Try bringing up a mutual topic. Something you know you both can build upon in the conversation (the sailing topic sounds good.). Dont ask yes or no questions or one answer questions. (ex: Instead of "Do you like this school?" ask "What about this school interests you?") Get to know him and what he's like. Ok. I'm done lol :smilewave
     
  3. resu

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    Yes, if you two don't know each other well, it's going to be awkward to just go up and say you're gay and you like him, especially if he's straight or homophobic (even closeted guys can still be homophobic). Usually you find indirectly a person's opinions on sexuality (e.g. bringing up current events like the Supreme Court decision on DOMA; though, it's hard to weave that in if you don't normally talk about it). These things won't tell for sure they're gay, but it will help knowing if they are tolerant or not.
     
  4. josh9623

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    well the class is over :icon_sad:

    I didn't get to really talk to him about anything gay except for it somehow came up that the school he goes to has a lot of very flamboyant gay people (it's an arts school) to which I wanted to say something along the lines of "well would you consider me to be flamboyant?" because he made it sound like he didn't realize how many gay people are not that way but I just said that at my school MOST of my gay friends are not flamboyant and act just like everyone else.

    I am thinking about sending him a friend request on FB but I'm a little unsure.

    I still want to be friends though.
     
  5. LD579

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    If you want to be friends, a facebook friend request wouldn't be a bad place to start. As for getting to a point where you hang out together... depending on him as well as your chemistry with each other (friendly chemistry, not romantic), it could either be done really quickly or it may take a while. Don't rush things. Also, befriend him because you like him as a potential friend, but not because you want to get into a relationship with him, you know?
     
  6. HeyAshley

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    you should at least find out whether or not he's gay before you go telling him that you have a crush on him. that's a good way to creep out a majority of straight males.
     
  7. josh9623

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    I don't think he's gay (but I don't know). and I am not going to just go "hey umm... I kinda have a crush on you" because I do think it would freak him out. also I don't have many friends, so the way I have been looking at it is try to be friends that way if we are only ever friends my hopes aren't dashed and I don't hurt myself emotionally, However if something were to happen between us I think it would probably be best to just let it happen than to push it. If that makes any sense whatsoever.
     
  8. resu

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    Well, a facebook friend request is pretty low risk, and if he doesn't respond after a long time, you can remove the request without feeling bad.
     
  9. wboii

    wboii Guest

    I'm not sure where this thread is going.
    It seemed that you wanted to find out if he was gay/bi and then let him know you are interested but I'm getting the impression you want to become friends first which is absolutely ok.
    I think when some of us were giving advice we had in mind that you were just trying to let him know you liked him but that's not what you want. You want to become friends?
    I agree with Luthan that if your goal is to become friends then your reasons should be because you ACTUALLY want a friendship whether he likes you or not.
    If you don't think it would be possible to be friends with him like that then you shouldn't try but I doubt that's the case.
    I think before you try to build a relationship (as friends) between you guys that you should try to learn his view on gays. Whether he is tolerant or not. Because if you intend to eventually come out to him he might not be 'supportive". for lack of a better word.
    He doesn't seem gay because of your conversation on flamboyant gays in your school but he doesnt seem to be intolerant, so I think you could try to get some more of his opinions on the subject.
    Thats all i got.
     
    #9 wboii, Jul 12, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 12, 2013