religious argument.

I would say only say sorry if you really care about the relationship and couldn't live with out it. Say you were just trying to stand up for her and her because you feel as friends it was the right thing to do. She also could be saying this because her mom is making her.

 

In a sense, I have to agree with you.

I could understand if she felt it may have been poor timing or not your place to say, but she should have known that you were only trying to help her. Its not as though anything you said was offensive or judgemental; her mother simply took it as such because self-righteous people can't stand to recognize that they are not so righteous in reality.

Though I would send her another text and fully speak your mind. Be brutally honest because if she is going to end your relationship, after all you have been through, for your attempts to defend her and who she is than she needs to face that.

 

You are 100% right. What right does someone have to discriminate against someone else on the grounds of something they aren't even obeying themselves? It is made worse by the fact that sex before marriage is an optional thing, therefore her mother has disobeyed the Bible by choice. Sexuality is not an optional thing, so the nerve of your friend's mother is unbelievable. Christians have no excuse to discriminate against anyone with the amount of contradictions there are in the Bible, which, as you said, is clearly a man-made work of far fetched fiction.

 

You only said something she would never dare say to her mother. OTOH she may have taken it as you calling her mother a slut. People don't generally like it when you call a spade a spade.

 

First of all
Awesome reply That was a nice hit to the face

Ashley, you we're amazing defending your friend. I wish I had a kick-@$$ friend like you~
Sadly, it seems that your friend sides with her mother on that. She may be a b!tch, and doesn't have the right to offend her own daughter like that, but she is her mother... No one likes it when their parents are offended, especially mothers.

I think it would have been better if you commented that with your friend and not at the mother. In the end your friend is the one that has to deal with her mom, and grow some back bone.

Give her some time to cool off. No one knows what they have until they lose sight of it. And your friend will have to acknowledge sooner or later that you we're just trying to protect her.

Also, her mom sounds like a b!tch. I think I already said that ^ Yup I did, and she is v.v

 

Why dont you call her, in these type of situations its better to say sorry by phone or idealy in person.

By the way, if you stay friends you should know you are probably not going to be permitted in her house as her mom is angry at you.

 

Endless Debate

 

I know I'm going to get a lot of shit for this post....here it goes:

I think you should apologize to your friend's mom. Not because you were factually wrong, but you were socially in the wrong. Not only did you probably offend her mom, but you probably offended her. If you said that to my mom, i'd deck you on the spot. Plus we're both from the mid-west, we know that the culture around here dictates that if you are someone's guest you treat them with respect and courtesy no matter how much you disagree with them. Granted, the social norm isn't to have discussions of family issues in front of guests either.

Anyway, I disagree with Chip(that's gotta be a first). I think you should suck up your pride and apologize. Because it'll help your friend in the long run. I think that by apologizing to her mom you'll surprise her and show her the love that she's supposed to be showing as a christian and maybe show her that Matthew Vines video while you're at it.

 

^ agreed :/

 

I disagree with this entirely.

The problem here is that you nor your mother wouldn't be upset with her because she said something 'disrespect'. Nothing she said was disrespectful. Not to mention, if she was miss informed, as a christian, her mother would be biblically called correct her with proper scripture. She was completely correct in what she said. It is seen as 'disrespectful', because in the eyes of someone who is being religious self-righteous, what she said would have been hurtful to their pride.

I don't care what anyone says to my loved ones, if they are right in doing so, I am not going to "deck" anyone. Holding blindly onto our pride will only cause us to live in ignorance. She was perfectly respectful with her words. The mother is just offended because reality hurts.

 

See that's what i'm saying. Even if you are factually right, walking into someone else's house and calling them out on something mid-conversation is considered extremely rude and considered disrespectful. I mean, I am well aware that my mom has done "stuff" outside of marriage, but it's not my place to call her out on it (esp in her house) and by doing so I am being disrespectful to her.

 

I read a quote that said, "If you're going to be sorry, then don't be sorry for speaking the truth", and that you were. I mean, I think that the mother is being disrespectful towards her own daughter. And arguing with someone who is a religious fanatic is a waste of time. I'm assuming that your friend's mother knows that you also like girls? If so, then I'd be offended too, but two wrongs don't make it right. Sometimes, it's best to bite your tongue; can you really blame your friend for taking her mom's side? It's pretty hurtful on both ends, being called sinful because you're gay. And being called out on having sex out of wedlock, even though it's pretty common. She obviously has some issues that she needs to work through herself and it struck a nerve.

I think you should apology even if you were right, especially if you want to salvage your friendship. This wasn't your argument to state the obvious because it did not involve you.

 

I've posted this before, but according to the bible, these are proper marriages:


[YOUTUBE]OFkeKKszXTw[/YOUTUBE]

 

Though we aren't speaking as though the mother was randomly called out of her sins. She choose to speak and judge on the supposed sins of others. She opened the door to the conversation. I can understand saying that you see how the mother would be upset by what she said, but to say that the OP should apologize is an entirely different situation. This upset is about pride. Nothing the OP said was disrespectful, it is only considered disrespectful by some because it probably hurt the mother's pride.

If her mother would have just been completely honest and said, I don't want you to be gay, rather than god doesn't want you to be gay; she wouldn't have had anything to be 'called out' for. She opened up the discussions about the sins of others. If you want to challenge others, you have to be willing to be challenged yourself.

I apologize for hurting someone's feelings. I don't apologize for hurting someone's pride. The OP is not the only one in this friendship. The effort should be mutual. If her friend is making no effort to speak to her, despite her actively reaching out, then why should she have to go out of her way and try even harder.

I don't see the point in apologize a friend that is willing to completely cut you off, without even discussion, after trying to defend them. Even if I agreed that she was being disrespectful, it she said something with the intention of trying to defend me, I would give her the benefit of the doubt and let it go. To hold onto that grudge is simply childish and possibly a hint that this might be a friendship I'd prefer to do without.

 

I'm proud of you. I hope she realized something from your tough love.