Really need advice. Am I doing the right thing for me?

I'm a girl and i was in an open relationship with another girl until i ended it this morning. We are both still into guys, but i'm a little more into girls. I never wanted to be in an open relationship but i agreed to it because it was the only way i could be with her. She has a guy friend who has feelings for her and shes always skyping with him until late at night while she ignores me, and continued to tell me that she's just friends with him. It made me feel worthless and everything she was telling me was a lie, like how much she missed me or loved me. She'd say she miss me and then go skype that other guy.. made me feel like crap.

This past weekend she went to a party with that guy and two other friends. Just the night before i expressed my feelings to her about that guy and how insecure he made me because i was afraid she'd leave me for him. I told her i hated him for ruining everything for me and how he is the root of all our problems, because he is. We get into fights all the time because of him and it's not a happy experience. she told me to not worry about it and that she loves me.

Well, they ended up doing stuff together but weren't drunk or anything. I just cant believe she would do something like that to me especially RIGHT AFTER i told her how he made me feel so insecure. I know it's an open relationship but I dont think its right if you know i have a problem with that one person. Even though i was never for an open relationship to begin with, i'd rather her do stuff with ANY other guy, just not that one. He's ruined so much for me.

I ended things with her this morning and havent been replying back to her texts. We are in a long distance relationship (1.5 hours away by driving) and that other guy is farther from her than me (a little over 2 hours). She says she doesnt want to be in a relationship with anybody and wants to be able to do whatever she wants. She said that she wants to act on her own feelings and not have to worry or care about someone else's. Her exact words: "i'm just not ready to take care of another person and worry about their feelings". i hope cutting her off and ignoring her is the right thing to do in my situation I told her she was selfish for not caring about anyones feelings but her own, and she agreed that she was selfish but its how she feels right now and that she wants to consider her own feelings and take actions off of them. In my opinion, this is wrong. she tells me she wants me to have freedom as well and that once i get to college (willl be a freshman in aug), the key to "finding myself" is freedom and to be able to do whatever i want. That may be true but i would never not think about someone's feeligs for my own benefit. She will be a sophomore in college and we're going to be living in the same building/floor which is going to suck.

Am i doing the wrong thing by cutting her off completely and ignoring her? One part of me knows i'm pushing her more to that other guy because she used to come to me with everything so if i'm not available anymore shes just going to get closer to him, which angers me. But i cant forgive her and i can't even think of her sexually anymore after what she's done. It disgusts me and i've completely lost my appetite that she would do something like that to me. i told her when i ended it that i respect myself enough to never let her or anyone treat me like that anymore because i deserve more than that. its my fault i allowed her to treat me like this for long.. she agreed and said that i do deserve better than her. also said that im not depending on someone to make me happy anymore and that im mad that i wasted my feelings on someone who just thinks they're in love/love me when they arent really.

I just need advice and reassurance that i'm doing the right thing and not throwing away something really good. it hurts so much because i'm so in love with her and she says she's in love with me too but i dont believe a thing she says to me anymore.

 

Thanks Luthan. It's just really hard to actually end it but at the same time I feel like I'm finally growing a backbone by sticking up for myself cuz I used to let her treat me whatever... I'm whipped lol. She texted me again last night apologizing and telling me she loves me.. Words mean nothing to me and actions speak a lot louder so I was pretty cold to her. She said she can't make herself want something different so I ended the conversation by telling her that I got that and that we've been through that conversation already and it's not worth talking about again... So we're done. It hurts so much and I want her so badly to the point where I'm pathetic, but I can't have her the way I want her