I don't know how to deal with these feelinga about Family..

:help: I am literally crying for the first time in 2 years for two reasons...

1. Being around my sister and her boyfriend a lot the last few weeks has made me extremely aware of my being single. And being out to them and able to talk about it makes me want to just have someone like that to hold me, kiss me, laugh with me, etc... And consequently I think of my so far "straight" crush and down myself more.

2. I was really upset because of the first reason, but I was pouring tears from my eyes on my way home. My family never lets me stay with my sister longer than 24 hours and all I do at home is grt bitched at, mediate fights, and get secluded in my room. I hate it. I don't ever want to go back home after I visit my sister. I get depressed and dread going back every time the time comes. My sister has said I can live with her if I want, but I know they(my fam) would never allow that. I'm just so tired of putting up with their shit and not being able to be myself around them...

I just want to know what to do about this... I'm in a bad place with myself and hate feeling this way, which I have a lot lately..

 

@biguy50

If I wanted emancipation, I would have had to.have started it 2 years ago for me to even finish by 17. Texas judicial system is super slow. And expensive... I've tried grtting a job as well. I can only work in the summer because I won't have the time during the school year. Most places don't like summer only jobs.

I have enough money saved up to run away, most likely one of my sisters houses. It's funny, that one of them lives 15 min from us and my family never cared to learn her address or phonne number, and that pretty much speaks for my other sister too.


@CreativeGuy

Your English is good! A lot better than most secondary learners, at least from what I've seen. And I know it will get better. I know that whatever college I end up attending, I'll live on campus. It's just.. untill then, I don't know what to do. I just know that one of these times I'm going to go over to my sisters and not come back. That just isn't me though. I'm general pretty selfless, responsible, and honest, all of which would be against me doing that. Not to mention I have no doubt I'll be reported as a "missing person" or some dumb crap like that, involving my family and the police.

 

They "want me to be home" because I'm the mediator for fights and only one who gives a damn about cleanliness and organization in the house, so as long as I'm home they can all be bitchy, lazy, potheads. Therefore, if I'm ever at my sister's for longer than 12 hrs, shit hits the fan. They even threatened to get the police involved once.

Emancipation is a long, expensive process. I don't have the money to fund it, and I can't recieve federal assistance unless CPS involved, which would investigate my care givers, and they'd be proven unfit in a heartbeat. This would definitely lead to an orphanage or care under another family member of 21 years of age, which sadly my sisters are 19 and 20... so... ya. And I've talked to several lawyers about the process, all of which have said I'll be 18 before the emancipation is complete.

 

Exactly 18 months.

She just turned 20 this month. No, she lives in Alaska.

CPS is out of the question. And the younger sister might not, she lives with her BF and is having relationship problems, but I have no doubt that if they split I would be denied a place with either of them.

Religious, yes, but it is more for "people who lost god". And they second as a "straight camp".. so no thanks.