I recently had a conversation with my grandfather last night that nearly drove me insane. So he thinks God created us all one way and that I am trying to deny my biological gender. And that I was obvious born the way I was born because God wanted me to be this way. When I tried to tell him, even if I did I accept who I was biologically that it wouldn't stop the feeling that I have towards feminity. He said I was trying to justify my decision. I didn't choose to be attracted towards those who may look femine or may be the same gender as I am. I just am. He thinks being gay is wrong. And thinks there is something wrong with them. Where as my grandmother just doesn't understand it at all. At least she said she support me even though it was wrong. While my parents parents keep forcing me under this restrict gender rules. I feel like I'm stuck. Where no one understands. And I feel stuck because I'm looking to date, not on EC before I frighten people, I mean in real life. But that is awkward and weird. Because I'm equally attracted to gay, straight, etc. But gay men wouldn't see me and physically see me as gay man the way I do. Straight woman wouldn't see me as a straight man, as I see myself. Straight men are just weirded out by the genderqueer genderfluidness. Gay woman seem the most acceptant of going out with me. But I'm literally attracted to any sexual orientation. I'm just this little weird freak of nature sometimes. Or so it feels. Sorry had to vent a little. :tantrum:
If you aren't seeing sexual attraction as a male/female gender matter and liking both and others as in gender neutral attraction, then you may be pansexual like myself.
Well we're hear to listen to you vent. Unfortunately we can't get people to live our life and see our perspective. (How cool would that be if we could!) I'm hoping you have an LGBT group to meet up with? I would say don't worry so much about dating. That has a tendency to fall into place. I would definitely focus more on finding friends and people who you can relate to so you don't feel like such a freak, because you aren't.
I got weird kinks. I explained a little above. If I'm with a gay man I see myself as a gay man If I'm with a gay woman I see myself as a gay woman If I'm with a straight woman I see myself as a straight man If I'm with a straight man I'm a straight woman If I'm with a transexual than I am transexual This doesn't make sense. I fall in love with people with how intellectual they are. I see their mind and then their body. All though I am attracted more to feminity. Not females. But feminity. So if a guy was a little femine then I'd date him if I saw his smarts first. @Myheart: I tried to join a Lesbian Hiking Group. It was weird and awkward because they were all older than me.
I know because Midnight Owl is Pansexual. Its just really hard to explain when people think pansexual and bisexual are there the same thing.
