1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Confusing Friends

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Chierro, Jul 16, 2013.

  1. Chierro

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2011
    Messages:
    1,059
    Likes Received:
    186
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    So I have a question for all of you guys, do you guys have any straight friends that are simply just so confusing?

    So I have this buddy, Matt, and he is honestly just the best guy in the world. He knows me so well, he knows my history and he's been supportive from the beginning. Some nights (cue Fun) we talk and it's just the lame answers, "ohhh," "okay," etc. But then there are some nights where he actually gives legit, heartfelt answers. I mean he's probably the only straight, catholic, jock that I know of that will be willing to talk about guys with their LGBT friend.

    So last night I texted him just to see what was new with him. We hadn't talked in like a month which is what I think he prefers, fine by me. So we were talking about how I finally conquered my fear of roller coasters and drop tower rides the other night (we had a Ride Night at work...an amusement park). He was honestly so proud of me. I then mentioned a bumper car incident with a midget and then I mentioned that I almost went out on a date with an 18 year old to which he proceeded to ask if it was a guy or a girl. This conversation slowly led to this revelation of my new crush. He actually asked who he was to see if he had an opinion on the guy...he ended up knowing of the guy through basketball or football or something.

    The thing is, I don't understand why he's just so comfortable. He honestly wants to know and be supportive despite his 'stereotype' not dictating that he should. I'm out to one other guy who I'm close with and despite us being 'best friends' he is far less willing to know about what's going on in my life. Do any of you guys have a friend like this?

    Now moving onto my crush: David. He's confusing to say the least. I worked with him once and I knew then that I wanted to get to know him better. The next week I didn't work with him but he went out of his way to come visit me at my game. I was a smiling person that day. Ever since then it's been on and off if I see him. But every time I see him he gets this big grin and smiles and waves. Odd? I will admit that yesterday I went out of my way to visit him. It was worth it because I got to talk to him. Do you guys have any ideas on talking to him more? I'm friends with him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter and our schedules coincide three days out of the week (I seem him when he leaves on Tuesdays though :grin:). Any ideas? I talked about it with Matt and he says that everything seems to lean towards him being bi, at least slightly.
     
  2. Abbra

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2013
    Messages:
    459
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Idaho
    I've come to the realization that some friends are just more open to talking about things. My straight-laced Christian friend is honestly the most open about talking about my sexuality, whereas my gay friend gets super uncomfortable and doesn't like to talk about my life at all. It doesn't mean anything, it's just where other people's comfort levels lie.

    As for your crush, I would say invite him to go do something as friends (see a movie, you know, something not romantic.) Then invite him to Mcdonalds or something and just have casual conversation. Try to look for signs that he's into you, and maybe as you grow closer you can bring the subject up to him.
     
  3. Chierro

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2011
    Messages:
    1,059
    Likes Received:
    186
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I guess it is just comfort levels, and Matt's comfort levels I love. It just makes him an amazing straight confidant to have.

    See, I know an easy way to hang out with him...but it sadly can't work. A lot of the time people who work nights go on Sheetz Runs (Sheetz is a gas station but with like a lot more for those who don't know) after work. That'd be a simple idea and I even went on a Sheetz Run after Ride Night on Sunday. But David doesn't work nights (which doesn't make sense since my boss forced me too and we're the same age). The only thing I can think of right now is the Block Party we're having at work this Sunday, I could try and get him to go. How could I convince him to go without seeming so needy though?
     
  4. Abbra

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2013
    Messages:
    459
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Idaho
    Just ask him with confidence. Explain to him that you feel like you two would get along well and you would like to hang out with him more often. Pretty much, if you ask him as a friend rather than a love interest it will seem more casual and it will take some pressure off of both of you.

    If all else fails, you can come up with an excuse. "It would take less gas to car pool" is a good way to ask someone to go with you.
     
  5. Chierro

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2011
    Messages:
    1,059
    Likes Received:
    186
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I already told myself that I want to be David's friend before anything else. If he turns out to be douchey then I let him go. The problem is...what if I don't see him? I have two days left where we work together and they aren't until the end of the week. I could message him on Facebook but since we haven't branched away from sparse encounters at work, it may seem odd.

    There are some slight problems with carpooling: it's out of my way, we would have to leave around 10:30 since I can't drive past 11, he knows that driving to him would be out of my way. I think he would find it a bit odd.
     
  6. Abbra

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2013
    Messages:
    459
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Idaho
    I honestly don't think he will find it weird if you ask to hang out with him at the party. I'm overcoming social anxiety that I've struggled with for a large part of my life, and I've found that if you don't treat the situation weird, then the other person won't perceive it as weird.
    Try messaging him something like this:

    Hey David, would you want to go with me to that party?

    Something simple can go a long ways. If he questions it, just explain to him that you feel like you two would have a lot in common. But as I said, if you keep it simple her probably won't think anything of it.
     
  7. Chierro

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2011
    Messages:
    1,059
    Likes Received:
    186
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I guess I will have to mull it over until Friday. If I seem him today and ask him I feel like I may be pushing it a little.

    Anyways, do you find it weird how happy and smiley he is? There are two other guys that are like that at work, one I know is bi and the other I'm convinced is gay. That point aside I'm friends with both of them, better friends than I am with David too. It just seems a tad odd to me.