I'm not sure if I'm supposed to post this stuff on here but I'm going to anyway. I need to vent to someone. I grew up living with my aunt and uncle. My mom couldn't raise me because she was mentally ill and my father was an alcoholic. I see my mom every weekend. This weekend we went to the mall. I was so thrilled to spend time with her. Especially shopping. My two favorite things, shopping and my mom. But she wasn't herself. She had been doing so well lately that I thought things would never be as bad as they were before when I was really young. On our way to the hair salon in the mall she told me she was tired and wanted to leave and I said it's ok mom we can just go to one more store and then we can go home. When I got out of the hair salon and we headed for the parking lot my mom seemed upset about something. in the car she told me that the voices were making fun of her and she was crying on the bench while i was getting my hair cut. I felt so guilty. I should have listened to her when she said she was tired and not have just been vain and got a haircut. I used to think I knew what to do and how to help my mother when she got like this but things have gotten so much better that I haven't needed to fix things. Is fixing things even my job? I'm her son. She's supposed to be a mother. I really love my mom. and she loves me. Today just unsettled me. I don't mean to say things that are so negative like this. anyway that's my vent. take it or leave it....
You can't really blame yourself, each generation they are wiser than the next and better than the last. Ultimately, she is your mother, and as wise as we become, we will never truly understand our mother and her love for us, and we often fail to see how much they love us. It's somewhat good that you are aware and empathetic now. The only thing you can really do now is draw from this experience for the next time. Good luck
It's difficult to know what somebody is going through when they don't explain it directly which can be hard for them to do.
