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Being nice or flirting?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Sal, Jul 21, 2013.

  1. Sal

    Sal Guest

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    I can be a pretty dense person and don't always realize when i'm doing something that is socially incorrect. For instance I've been accused of flirting when I was just trying to be nice to others, primarily girls. I would do something nice for them but then they'd look at me weirdly like I've done something wrong or they'd act strange and, I don't know, giggly? Is it flirting when: I open doors for them, pull out chairs, pick up items they drop, give them my jacket when its cold, let them borrow my notes, offer my lunch tray when someone drops theirs, carry their books when it looks to heavy for them? I was just trying to be kind and helpful. I can't even compliment someone without getting weird looks. It seems that every time i do or say something things just get awkward.

    A friend of mine has also been acting strange lately. I cant tell if she is flirting with me and I'm worried that she might think that I'm flirting with her. She's my first real friend so I always make sure to treat her right. I do all of the things mentioned above for her and make sure to give her a gift for Christmas, Birthdays, etc. I take her to movies, arcades and other friendly places. I listen to her whenever she is upset and try my best to cheer her up. Aren't these things that a good friend is supposed to do?
    She has been having issues regarding a boy whom she liked that didn't return her feelings and I've been supporting her to the best of my ability. However recently she's been doing things that I think might be considered flirting. For example she sends me at least 20 text messages a day. She call me names, but not bad ones. More childish and silly sounding ones. She's also been buying me a lot of things.

    Have I been Flirting with her and those other girls? Is she flirting with me? I just want to be a good friend.
     
  2. Unsurevirgin

    Unsurevirgin Guest

    Dude these things ur doing are dating lol it's bf material , ur giving her mixed signals ,create a boundary line. Friend zone it , or if u want confront her about it and if u want ,date or not :slight_smile:
     
  3. Sal

    Sal Guest

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    How is it Dating when we aren't in that kind of relationship? What exactly do you mean by boundary line? I made it known before we began our friendship that I was not sexually attracted to her.
     
  4. Unsurevirgin

    Unsurevirgin Guest

    Goinout with her ,texts,smiley , seeing if she's okay ,women will think a guy is interested in her genuinely . U dont know ,women think of love and a bf well some think of it like this .
     
  5. Sal

    Sal Guest

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    But aren't these things that your supposed to do for/with your friends? And if someone is distressed, or in need of assistance, I should help them.
     
  6. Precious Venus

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    Ah, this can be very confusing. The thing is, a close female friendship mimicks a romantic relationship very closely, especially in your teenage years. I certainly went through a similar thing when I was 16 and felt totaly betrayed when my heterosexual BFF went and got herself a boyfriend. Poor her, she had no idea why I was so upset!

    The difference between being a good friend and flirting is not in what you say or do, like smilies in texts, but more in the body language and eye contact. It's hard to explain but I'm bi and I have female friends who are very close but our relationship is totally platonic. We call each other darling, kiss hello and of course is one is down, send a message asking how they are. That doesn't make it flirting.