It seems that the only guys that are interested in me are at least 10 years older than me. I don't know if this is a problem though. When I think of my perfect man, I want someone who has their life together (supporting themselves, intelligent, and full of confidence) and it is looking like that is more common among men that are older than me. The problem comes down to attraction. I'm usually only attracted to men my own age, but can't seem to find anyone my age that is what I'm looking for. Does this make me shallow? I've been thinking that I just need to get over this and see that "age is just a number".
How are you meeting these guys? If online, you only have a photograph to go by and you will not be capturing the nuances that come from a live face. I don't think 10 year's difference is an issue, some might disagree, but the issues that surface based on different life experiences are the same between couples who are closer in age. Still two lives, still two different experiences, only the older guy has had a little more of it (and some don't learn anything anyway). Even down the line when a 10 year age difference is more apparent, it depends on the person, there are just too many variables to consider before making a blanket statement about age differences.
I think this is shallow only if age is the basis of some stereotype, bias, or discrimination: "All older guys are..." or "All younger guys are..." Otherwise, you get to decide who you are most attracted to and why, be they younger, older, or anywhere in between...
Older guys aren't necessarily bad! In fact, I prefer them ;P. Give them a chance and you may just like one!
It really can depend on how old you are. If you're 20 or so, a 30 year old have much more experience in many ways than you. A 30 year old with a 40 year old wouldn't be that large of an issue at all, in contrast. It doesn't make you shallow. Age can sometimes just be a number, but sometimes it's more than just a number. Maybe you shouldn't look for your perfect man. Maybe you should just let things come to you and see what's worth taking a shot, you know? That's just one thing you may wish to do.
once you reach your 20's, 10 years older isn't really a big difference. age becomes just a number because by time you hit your 20's (hopefully) you're mentally mature enough to make adult decisions just like other adults in the world. so 10 years isn't really a big deal. and i completely understand having a liking for those that're older than you because they have their shit together. i can be the same way sometimes. however, if you're 16ish or so and you're dating someone who's 26 - there's nothing healthy about that. even 18 and 28, that's not healthy. any 26, 27, 28, etc. year old who is mentally and emotionally healthy would want nothing to do with a teenager. that isn't meant to hurt your feelings, but if that's the case, maybe you should start dating those closer to your age.
I personally feel like that's a very, very grey area. This guy has probably been out of school and has been working a steady job for years and likely has been living alone and doing well on his own for quite a few years. In contrast, perhaps you have finished school a few years ago and are just starting to work some sort of job full time. That's just something to keep in mind... to help you see if your potential relationship with this guy could go anywhere. Is there a reason he's pursuing you? It's a bit odd that a 36 year old man would go after someone 12 years his minor...
