Okay, here's my situation: I currently live with my parents, and neither of them know or suspect that I'm gay. I know for a fact that neither of them have any issues, whatsoever, with being gay, and that that won't be an issue when I do come out. However... In spite of their support, I cannot bring myself to tell them I'm gay. Partly because I'm still struggling with coming to terms with it myself, and partly because the thought of telling them is so awkward and embarrassing that after telling them, I just wouldn't be able to be in the same room with them without feeling awkward. I know this because I went through a similar situation, coming out to my mom and my sister about something else, and in spite of their support, being around both of them was excruciatingly painful and awkward. So, to make the "blow" of coming out easier, I decided that I'll tell my family through an email that I'll send when I'm no longer living at home and, preferably, living so far away that they couldn't just come over to my place and see me on a whim. The closest possible opportunity to do this is in about a year, when I will hopefully be attending college at an out-of-state school. Here's the issue with that: As grateful and fortunate as I am to have two accepting parents in arguably the most gay-friendly location in the world, I still feel that my parents did a few things when I was growing up that prevented me from discovering and coming to terms with my sexuality. Had they not done these things, I feel that I would have had an easier and less painful experience discovering and coming to terms with my sexuality, so I'm pissed that my parents did those things. And lately, I've been lashing out at them. Furthermore, there's no guarantee that I'll get into that out-of-state school I want to go to, in which case I'll have to wait even longer. And lastly, my dad has been subtly trying to convince me to stay in the bay area and not go away for college, which is annoying the fucking hell out of me. I'm getting to a point where I've got so much anger built up that it's affecting me and everyone around me. And I feel that, because of everything I mentioned above, if I did end up coming out to my family in person, in addition to that painful awkwardness, I'd just kind of explode and lash out at all of them. I'm even worried that I might start acting violently if that happened. So I just don't know what to do or how to deal with this situation. :help:
I completely understand you not wanting to tell your parents even though they're accepting. My mom would act the same way (oversuppotive) so I'm most likely going to wait until after college, when I go off with the military. Unfortunately, I don't have any advice for you since I'm in the same situation, but just know that you're not alone.
Hey, I know what you mean about the awkwardness. First person i told was a roommate, so for about a week I just felt like this person can see right thru me about something I had kept to myself for years. However, the pressure of hiding it was gone, and it became easier to tell others. I really don't think it's worth waiting years for, especially if you have all this anger. Usually coming out lessens the anger over time, so i can't imagine you become violent. If you know they'll accept it, it just seems like you're suffering long term anxiety for the sake of a short term problem that's really not so bad. Have you told no one at all? You're in San Francisco...either tell them or find some other outlet.
