I will attempt to put this story in a nutshell, but I want to capture the essence of our relationship. Names have been changed. John and I both moved to this city around the same time about 6 years ago. He was from the North, and I just moved from a few cities over. We were both searching for new friends, and we ended up becoming really great friends. When we first met, everyone suspected he was gay, as did I. He rejected my offer to make out with him one drunken night. Well, I saw him go through some relationships with girls. During these, we ended up becoming roommates with other people. We've now been roommates for about 4 years. During this whole time, we have always had at least one more roommate. Now, we are down to just the two of us in our new place we just moved into. I have always had a huge crush on John. He is charming, ambitious, smart, sexy, caring, and many other things. He has always supported me and encouraged me to live a better life and has led by example. Even though we have had a lot of drinks together over the years, nothing has ever happened. Until we moved in here. The first night we moved in, John bought a bottle of whiskey. We had drinks and were merry, and after becoming sufficiently inebriated, it was time for bed. I don't know what drove me to do it, but I followed him to his bed. And there, we had passionate sex for hours. Kissing, pulling hair, the whole nine yards. It was the pinnacle of my fantasy that I have held of him for years. And now, I have to say that I have truly fallen for him...deeply. Now that we have shared this experience, I cannot stop thinking about him. It is all I think about. I have been depressed about situations before, but it has been a long time where I have felt crushed by what I cannot have. It has been almost two weeks since it happened, and we have not mentioned it or talked about it, and I am literally dying inside! I keep having horrible, depressing thoughts. I know that these thoughts are temporary, and that things will get better on the other side, but I have to live with John for three more months under this pressure. And, to be completely honest, John is engaged...and I'm the best man in the wedding. How f***ed up is that? That is what makes it a million times worse. And right after he gets married (at the end of the 3 months he's living with me), he will be moving to the big city to live with his new wife. And I'm totally jealous. I would call it a drunken mistake, but, you guys, it was literally hours of love-making, and we were making out, and he seemed completely fine reciprocating in every way. Some of you may call me a homewrecker, and I completely get it. In this situation, I probably am, but I really am asking for any help in how I should approach this situation. I want to do it responsibly and hopefully keep our friendship in existence. Thank you in advance for any possible help.
I am not sure what your looking for, but I know my answer is not it. To me it sounds like a one night stand influenced by alcohol I do NOT think that he could provide you with a lasting relationship that you fantasize about and I think further pursuing it will either end up ending the friendship or cause a LOT of drama if not both. However, if you disagree with everything I just said. I did warn you, but should you ignore that paragraph, talk to him. Tell him how you feel and see what he says.
