So I have a friend that I've known and been close with for over 10 years. We'll call him DJ...DJ is my absolute best friend but he confuses me. I'm pretty sure he's gay even though he wont admit it...(I snooped on his computer and found his stash of gay porn and many other things pointing to it). I don't know why he wont tell me and it drives me crazy but that isn't what this post is about. What it IS about is that I don't know what to do. He's like my sexless life partner... I'd rather be with him than anyone else. I've now been single for 4 years or so...back before then DJ HATED all of my boyfriends...especially the ones I got the closest with. When I was dating this one guy it felt like I had two boyfriends. If I was hanging out with DJ and my boyfriend called DJ would ask after I got off the phone, "Who was that? What did HE want?" and then vice versa...when I would be with my boyfriend and DJ would call after I'd hang up my boyfriend would want to know why he was calling and would interrogate me about him. I ruined a relationship because DJ didn't like my boyfriend and it was too much to have my boyfriend and best friend fighting all the time. Fast forward to now and if I have plans with someone else and he is waiting on me at our apartment or something I end up rushing the plans or even breaking the plans just so I can hurry back to hang out with him. This includes dates... so I feel like my relationship with him hinders me from having a real relationship with someone else. I've told him how I feel via letter (because I'm a wuss) he never even acknowledged that he read it... things just went on as they always have. He LIVED with me and my other roommate for 6 months in our two bedroom apartment. He stayed in my room with me, slept in the same bed and shared my dresser and closet. Now he's been studying abroad for the last 4 months and I actually went to visit him at the beginning of this month. I stayed in a hotel with one bed for two weeks and he stayed with me sleeping in the same bed. Now I'm back and I find myself getting depressed that my trip to visit him is over and I wont see him for several months. I don't know what to do... I'm in love with him and feel like he is the perfect person for me. Even if we aren't meant to be together in a relationship I feel that we soul mates but I just need to get over him. My head is all messed up over it... I really wish I could just talk to him about it but I'm afraid that it might would mess things up... advice?
I would take a risk and tell him how I felt, in person. Or over the phone, but that could possibly not go over well, so I'd go with in person. It could possibly put a strain on your friendship, but what is life without drama at some point? It's up to you if you want to go for it or not.
