I was talking to my friend an openly gay guy (who knows im gay) the other day and we got onto the subject of lesbians. I said that I was perfectly ok with them and he disagreed, said he found the idea of a person being a lesbian "yuck". I got a bit angry at him at this point and called him a hypocrite. What i'm asking is was I right to call him a hypocrite? Btw I don't want any hate messaging towards my friend. He can be quite prudish and racist at times but he is still my friend.
I think you're reading a lot more into it then it needs to be. A he's gay, so the fact that he really doesn't think too highly of vagina shouldn't be a shocker. Nor should it be surprising if he doesn't understand lesbians simply because he's into males, not females, and the thought of being in a relationship without a man in general is a tad bit foreign for his thought. I'm the same way when it comes to the thought process, if I'm ever with some of my lesbian friends we talk about how we don't understand how the other has sex. Lesbian sex soooo doesn't resonate well in my mind for some reason, and gay sex doesn't resonate in some of theirs. It's just people, we're all different.
Being a gay male I see no problem with lesbians at all, if a gay man was to be disgusted by lesbians then he is himself being homophobic and judging them like he wouldn't want to be judged. Accept everyone whatever their sexuality, it would make the world a much better place.
It depends. Does he think the sex is just unappealing or does he actually treat lesbians with disrespect and bias?
I've seen both, where gay guys have lesbian friends and also where they don't want to have interaction. The gay guys who have lesbian friends will remark that they do not find women attractive and let it go at that. The gay guys who do not have lesbian friends will make remarks that are more cutting. In the latter group, I've heard: "The only time I've been near a vagina was at birth." This guy also uses the slur words. I've often wondered why there are different schools of thought on this.
Honestly, if a straight person said something along those lines we'd all have a huge and perfectly justified kvetchfest about homophobia. No apologetics along the lines of "I'm just saying what i think instead of PC stuff everyone is supposed to say nowadays" or "I'm a female, attracted to males, so it's natural for me to dislike lesbians" would be accepted. And I don't really see why a gay male should get a "get out of jail free card" on saying things like that about anyone, - it's not his gayness, it's (in this case) either (internalized) homophobia or misoginy. Both bad things. Neither ought to be encouraged.
There's a difference between being disgusted by lesbian sex acts and being disgusted by lesbians. You may find the act of lesbian sex disgusting but to say lesbians are disgusting is a very hateful thing to say.
just b/c he's yr friend doesnt mean he deserves being protected from being called a gross person, which he obvi is
Agreed, especially when you consider that, historically, cis gay men have dominated the LBGTQ movement and attempted to marginalize lesbians, as well as bisexuals and trans* people of all genders. It's one thing to find a particular type of sex unappealing, but it's another thing entirely to say that anyone who practices it is disgusting (with the exception, of course, for non-consensual sexual practices like rape, bestiality, and pedophilia).
Thanks for the replies guys We talked again today but we didn't bring it up, he can get a bit ahead of himself and often says things he regrets later. He says he's allright with his sexuallity but sometimes i have my doubts so I can generally forgive his little outbursts. I think the fact he was forced out of the closet by a friend gave him a really jaded outlook. :icon_sad: To Capsaicin: He is both disgusted by the way they have sex and the idea of a woman loving another woman romantically. Hence why I called him a hypocrite, hope that answers your question. To Aeriestars: Thats what I was worried about, that I had read to much into it. I just got a bit upset by the fact he expects people to accept us but can turn around and slam Lesbians. Once again thanks for all the replies (&&&)
He is being hypocritical. You were right to call him out. People like him and the people who love the phase "well personally I am disgusted by gay sex but everyone should do what they want" are annoying as fuck. The vast majority of people are not naturally disgusted buy the sexual organs that they aren't attracted to. They are taught to be disgusted by the culture around them. There is a neutral middle ground people. Gay guys love talking about how gross vaginas are as though it affirms their gayness, same with straight guys, its so dumb.
Disgusted by actual human beings for being who they are is unacceptable. So yes, it is hypocritical for gay guys to be disgusted by lesbians. I don't know why there is always such strife between gay guys and lesbians. I disagree though with the last post that tries to apply that to the example of gay guys being grossed out by vaginas. A lot of gay guys ARE grossed out by vaginas, and plenty of lesbian girls are grossed out by penises... there's nothing wrong with not being attracted to the sex organs of the sex you are not attracted to. That's not judging them as human beings, it just means you don't want to have sex with them, which is what sexual orientation is all about- and it is natural. Yes, the straight men who say "personally I am disgusted by gay sex but everyone should do what they want" are annoying, but usually because they are bringing up their unsolicited opinion on gay sex in response to a gay-related topic that has nothing to do with sex.
I think it's hypocritical of anyone to think of another person as disgusting to begin with. Although I understand it, I think it shouldn't be regarded with disgust physically or emotionally. It's definitely hypocritical for them to think it's disgusting on a conceptual level; two people of the same gender being attracted to one another that is.
It's one thing for a gay guy to say a vagina is yuck because, well...he's gay! It's another thing for a gay guy to not be okay with a lesbian because in the end...it's technically a gay girl. If that makes sense. We all need to be supporting each other! Yes, things are getting better, but there are still many people who hate. We need to all stick together. (&&&)
