Looking for some insight to what might be going on. I have been hooking up with this guy who is significantly older than me and I am really attracted to him. We started out just having sex but we talk almost everyday via text and ive told him pretty much everything about my life. He shares personal information with me as well and it's nice. He has told me that he is not looking for a romantic relationship just a sexual one but completely acts like he is my boyfriend. We cuddle before and after sex, talk about politics and religion, gone on 3 day vacations together, he seems like he cares about my future, always wants details about what I am doing and how I am feeling. I don't get it. The guy is married but out to his family and wife, who doesn't mind that he is gay and let's him fraternize. He claims he is just a "pervert" and I know for a fact I am not the only person he sleeps with but he has said he usually doesn't get involved in peoples lives who he is sleeping with which creates more confusion. We practice safe sex, don't worry. It just feels like he wants a relationship with me but has explicitly said that's not what he is looking for. I get all the physical signs of a relationship. We are very similar in a lot of things and he makes me really happy is it possible he is just confused about his feelings for me? Or is is it more likely he just likes to have a lot of different partners?
Take it at face value. Or run.... it doesn't matter if he is out to his family but that guy is married! fwb works for some and for others it doesn't. Fwb maybe a good concept but in reality feelings get develop because you get physical, like in your case you start to open up to him and him to you...
Maybe this is his way how to tell you that he can disapper one day, that he doesn't want a commitment? To not let you make plans for the future together?
I knew the guy was married right after you explained what kind of relationship he wanted.. You have to ask yourself if that's really acceptable to you. And are you really wanting to be jockeying for position to be the one he's cheating on but comes home to? I don't know if you have daddy issues or what not.. (not trying to be a dick about it either, seriously) but you should look into it through therapy perhaps. You have to figure out what value you have and offer that before your body. If you cut out the sex with him, do you think he'd still be around? I think you should call it quits with this guy before it causes some issues in both of your lives. It's very dangerous to be with someone like that.
You sound like his mistress/concubine, which means you will always be second string to his wife. This is a very unequal relationship, and he is using his experience to lead you on into thinking something more might happen. Maybe you even think he might leave his wife for you, while she seems very savvy in letting him live out his fantasies while still likely benefiting herself.
Sounds like he is just holding onto his relationship with his wife for 'the familys' sake. In other words, he wants a gay relationship, but can't/wont let himself.
