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I'm not gay but I fancy a girl

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by ACE788, Jul 30, 2013.

  1. ACE788

    ACE788 Guest

    I'm a 29 year straight girl, so I thought.

    Last year I slept with this girl from work at a staff party, we were both dumped by our boyfriends and just feeling lonely, it's forgotten about now.

    Then I went to a christmas party with my old school friends, there is this girl that is openly gay and has a girlfriend and she's really pretty, we never really hung out in school nor when I left but lately as we work nearby we'd see alot more of each other. I was telling her about my gay encounter and we were so drunk we ended up kissing for ages in the bathroom. She texted me to make sure I was ok the next day and we just laughed it off, I told her I'm deffo straight and she has a girlfriend. As we both work in the same area I told her to come out with me after work for drinks and we kissed again, we went out a few other times and she tried to kiss me but i said no. Then one night we went out just the two of us and we ended up sleeping together at my place, we were both in shock the next day, and I told her I'm deffo straight again we kept the friendship going it wasn't weird.

    I really like hanging out with her and talking to her and I think she is gorgeous. So after that night she'd drunkenly text me a lot and I'd reply but told her nothing was going to happen, she'd always reply the next day saying she's sorry and I was find about it. then she sent me a mail saying we can't hang out anymore cuz she had a crush on me and her gf was suspicious about me cuz she thought we'd send flirty txts. I was sad and I did miss her but it didn't last long as we knew the same people and would go to the same parties.

    She came out the other day for my bday and we ended up sleeping together again, this time though neither of us were that drunk! I was saying to her whilst we were in bed that I know im straight but I really fancy you. Am I in denial or is it possible that I just have a crush on this one girl? I just don't know what to do or say now, it's clear we need to have a good talk and I'm to let her know when I can meet up but I don't know what to say or do!

    Any advice or wisdom is appriciated!!
     
  2. Munyal

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    You don't have to be gay or straight, you can be something in between. You may be a bisexual, or you may be something else. Labels are confusing, and it is much simpler to just say you fancy this woman, than to put yourself in a box.
     
  3. ACE788

    ACE788 Guest

    Yeah that's true, I guess I'm trying to figure out if I do have genuine feelings for her or is it just stupid drunkeness!!!
     
  4. silverhalo

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    I cant tell you if you are gay or straight and as the poster above stated you don't have to label yourself, I would however say that if you have slept with 2 different girls, 1 of which it has been multiple times in various states of drunken and non drunkenness and I am assuming you have enjoyed it as you have gone back for more, then I would say you are definitely not straight, it could be that you mainly like men and there are just a few girls that you find attractive or you could find that now you have discovered it your attraction to girls grows. I identify as gay and have never really been attracted to guys but I didn't work out I was gay till I was in my 20's because I just had never really thought about it, I had been busy studying and just thought that my attraction would grow, I was shy and kind of put it down to that. I am not saying that's the case with you but I think it can happen to you at any time and I would say that once I had opened my mind to being gay I noticed it more and more and found it kind of grew. I have also heard many people on EC who identify as bisexual say that their attraction kind of swings so sometimes they are more into guys and sometimes into girls.

    Sorry I didn't mean to bombard you with a lengthy post I wasn't trying to scare you away.
     
  5. ACE788

    ACE788 Guest

    No you definitely didn't that was really helpful thank you :slight_smile:
     
  6. silverhalo

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    Well if you have any questions let me know.