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Is it possible to be friends with your crush?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by HopeFloats, Jul 30, 2013.

  1. HopeFloats

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    I have a massive crush on a coworker. She is 10 years older than I am and I know from gaydar (and office gossip) that she is a lesbian. I know from googling that she and her partner bought a house together 8 years ago and that they frequently run 5k and 10k races together. They are totally together. But she has never come out to me or mentioned her partner's name. When I started working there, I was going through a divorce from a man. I just came out to myself in the past 6 months and to friends and family in the past month. So I can understand if she didn't immediately know what I didn't even admit myself. But since them, we have discussed gay and lesbian musicians and my notably gay-friendly church. She knows I'm liberal politically although we work in a conservative office. We take frequent day trips for work and she's talked at length about her brothers, nieces, and parents. We talk about everything BUT her partner it seems. It reached the point of flirtation yesterday. I know it's wrong that these conversations with her are the highlight of my workday. Mainly we talk about work but these other topics flitter in. I was totally hitting on a cute butch server the last time the 2 of us went to lunch without our client. A friend of mine has told me I MUST find a new crush. I am changing offices and positions in 2 weeks, so that will provide some distance. My friend suggested that I officially come out to my crush and ask her if she has any single friends.
    My question is whether it would even be possible to be friends with this woman or if that's unrealistic. I want to be in the friendzone. I think it would help to hear it from her that she is NOT available. I do want to be friends with her in an appropriate, non-flirting way. But is it uncool for me to expect her to out herself to me when she clearly has had a million opportunities and chosen not to do it? That's what would happen if we had this convo. Either that or she'd just shut down the personal conversation. I don't know how to cut the flirtation without telling her I want to meet someone single. Any other ideas? Just trying to keep our conversations limited to work is not working for me. My crush just grows and grows.
     
    #1 HopeFloats, Jul 30, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2013
  2. Lexington

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    Yes, you can become friends with her. Especially since you'll be getting some distance between you two. The three things that help you get over a crush are time, distance, and having somebody else to focus on. The first two will take care of themselves, so let's see what happens on the third front. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  3. Pat

    Pat
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    Sure. I befriended my friends because I had crushes on them lmao. It works out.
     
  4. 2112

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    It's possible, but it's awkward for me.