How to help someone come out, because he's ruining his life and others ignoring it.

Hello,

I've recently ended a on-again-off-again r/ship with a man who I feel is gay, or at least bi - and him not acknowledging it is ruining lives. Part of me is angry - but the other part who appreciates the love we shared and can see him damaging not only him self but the women he has relationships with - needs advice.

He's quite homophobic and believes that gay men can't have children - which is BS because I have awesome gay mates who've had children in early relationships. He has two accidental children to the same woman who has turned psycho (at the end of our relationship I understand why). He has a lot of guilt towards this but doesn't really do his best to look after them, they're more his accessories when he feels like getting them down for holidays.

He's very artistic and effeminate - loves dressing up, finding himself with spiritual dancing. He feels that his dancing always ends his relationships - it's because he never wants to dance with the women he's fucking.

Lots of people think he's gay. Some of my closest friends have said it's pretty obvious. But because he was always into me sexually, I thought they were just being superficial because he's arty.

He's very sexual - my concern over the last 6 months of the relationship was that he was mainly turned on by the idea of sodomising me. He's always hanging out with frumpy older women and loves being mothered. His new BBF is a little androgynous 20 year old girl. He claimed he wasn't attracted to her because she looks like a little boy - plus he had me and I'm a voluptuous goddess, but she doesn't get up him for not feeding his kids - and I got a vibe that makes me think he wasn't telling me the truth.

The anger that I feel since we've broken up is beyond anything I've ever felt post-relationship before. I know the mother of his children has pretty much lost her mind. I feel completely disrespected by him. It's as if he has an underlying hatred of women that he plays these games which sends us mental.

I haven't seen him for 9 weeks so maybe now our r/ship is over he's happy and found a job etc - but for the past two years he's been depressed and unable to function beyond getting enough cash to get stoned and do the occasional hippy job, which has meant he's neglecting his children (part of why his ex is nuts and I got heavy on him).

He comes from a conservative private school background and his parents are complete wasps. But they love him and I think they would be happier if he was happier.

I guess I should just let it go now we're over it doesn't really matter to me. But I worry about his children and feel sorry for any other woman who wastes her life with him. Plus, as much as I never want to see his face again - it would be better for him if he faces stuff..

Ideas? :help: