I don't really feel like explaining the (beginning)story for a 3rd time but I will do a short version. There was this guy I had a crush on, he was already a good friend. I came out to him. Then a couple months later (like in March) I told him I had a crush on him. So he was straight which I expected. Then another couple months lAter in May he tells me he is anorexic. OK, new talk! The reason I think I lost a good friend is because he doesn't want to hang out with me anymore. Now that its summer, and I know he's not on vacation anymore, there's my really an excuse. So today I had a realization! A bad one! Why would he tell me of all people, after things had just been awkward between us, that he's anorexic. And talking about anorexia. Wouldn't there be a noticeable change in weight, or, at least personality if someone thought they were anorexic? In his Facebook posts when he has a picture of himself, he looks exactly the same, weight wise. He's at a healthy weight. That made me come to the notion that he just told me that so it might deter me from liking him as much or something. Or just to avoid me. On Facebook, he doesn't reply to my messages when I ask to hangout. By the way, I haven't told him that I don't have crush on him anymore (which I don't). Could that possibly help? I seriously am hoping I didn't lose a good friend. I really wished I would've not acted on impulse and kept my mouth shut. I'm hoping even more that this idea is just some far fetched craziness from tiredness. But I have facts to believe otherwise. But if he did do some lowly scheme like this instead of just telling me we weren't going to hangout anymore, then I guess it's good we wont be friends anymore. I really just wanna go ask him on Facebook if he's trying to avoid me. If he is, then I'm fine with that, good riddance to a "friend" like that. If not, then I'll ask what's up. I just wanted an opinion before I might do something I'm going to regret again. Thanks EC!!!:icon_bigg
i would ask him if theres something a problem with our friendship and stuff but if he conitnued to ignore me then i would just let him be 0_0 no point chasing down something that cant be recovered , that is just a self soul masochism.
Who knows if he actually is anorexic? It might be best to take his words at face value. Ideally he'd be getting some support and help from this. It's possible you two just drifted apart and that him being anorexic is just a coincidental side note. You could always bring up how you think you two aren't as close anymore, not as a pointed statement, but as an offhand remark. Friendships can be easy to rekindle.
Hey I had a similar situation so I guess I moved on- you're worth 10 of him! In the end he started wanting to know me again... It was hard but I was strong and ignored him. We don't talk now and I don't really feel anything other than indifference. Good luck though with whatever you choose to do
hmm There can be many reasons behind his not responding. From him being a douche bag, to him having serious psychical problems. You don't need to lose a lot of weight and you still can suffer anorexia with all the health and mental problems that come with it.
I don't believe you can "lose" a good friend unless you fuck up somehow. I mean, I've lost one before and regret it immensely, but that's because I came on to him really really strong during a rough patch in my life. All you did was tell him you had a crush. For future reference, that kind of thing is irrelevant. Don't tell guys that lol. I have two straight best friends who I had crushes on.. it kind of goes without saying. They never ask and I never tell.. A 15 year old boy, if he's your age.. is still pretty immature. So he probably doesn't know how to handle the fact that you're gay, thats one. And two, he definitely doesn't know how to handle that you're gay and you have a crush on him. If he's really a good friend, try him during college and see how he feels then. You learn soooo much as you grow older in age. He'll come around if he's really a good kid. But yeah, I would recommend coming out of course, but preserving certain information for the better of the relationship. Straight guys already feel like we want to hit on them, so if you fuel that by telling them, "yeah, I actually was into you" it can freak them out.
Thanks everyone!!! Something cool happened, he actually started replying to my messages again. I think I was jumping to conclusions because he said we could even hang out sometime. But I'm going to be gone with @ my cousins for a week. Just saying DanJames I'm probably never going to completely butt my friend out of my life because we have A LOT in common. Like, almost everything. It's really easy to talk to him when he actually feels like talking. Just like me, he's kind of an isolationist. Especially in the summer.
Just be careful. I've been there and done that. When you like someone, your mind will tell you he's the best thing since sliced bread and you can be blind to how you appear to others. Keep a safe distance. If he wants to bring you in a bit closer, allow him to do that. Go days without texting him or calling him. You want to make sure that you never end up in a one sided friendship where you're exerting the effort and in return, you're just getting whatever the person will offer you. If he never thinks about you enough to text you, then you should know that he's not the kind of friend you'll want to get close to.
