Hi guys! I know I haven't posted in ages... sorry! I'll try to do better. Anyways, things are going great with me and Sebastian, and our fourth date is tomorrow - he's coming to my house. I'm really excited to see him again . But I'm nervous as hell. Not because of the date itself, that doesn't make me anxious at all, but because we seriously talked about sex a few days ago and there's a very good chance that we'll be having sex tomorrow. I'm a complete virgin and have never touched someone that way before, with the extent of my experience being when Seb put his hand on my crotch last time we were together. There's nothing I want more than to be with him that way, but at the same time I'm scared, probably because I'm afraid that I'll make a fool out of myself. To be clear, we're planning on oral and anal, so I already bought extra-large condoms (we're both very well-endowed) and silicone-based lube. We're gonna go both ways for both things and he's also going to rim me maybe. One of the things that scares me the most is that no matter how hard I try, I'm afraid I won't be clean enough down there, and I don't want to gross him out. For rimming, is it enough to just use soap and fingers in the shower? I don't have a douche, so that's not an option. Any tips for cleaning down there? Also, this is my first time giving oral, and I've heard that you have to be really careful about teeth, but I'm not exactly sure how to be careful... what does that even mean? Also, is it a huge turn-off if I accidentally gag? And if he's fucking me, is there anything I should know to be careful of? More generally, do any of you have any tips that could be useful to me? Or any reassuring words?
Some people might be good with very detailed tips, but I'd like to start off with some reassuring words: I'm pretty sure that it'll all turn out just fine! Now, I think you already started doing what would be my first advice: talking about it. Obviously, you don't have to plan the entire thing in detail, but it helps to have an idea what you want to do. So: good on having already done that. Many people seem to just jump into stuff and hoping they'll magically know what the other wants, but that's unlikely. So, second tip: continue talking. If you're getting busy and something doesn't really seem to work for you, or you'd like to try something different: just go head and mention it. It's not silly to do so (honestly, it can be extremely hot to be given directions), and you learn better what is the most pleasurable. Also, on the other end, if something goes very well, you should say so too (few words in the universe are hotter than "oh, yeah, right there" ) Thirdly: it's really impossible to make a fool out of yourself. That only tends to happen when your main goal is to impress someone. Which is not what you should be doing during sex. You should be aiming to just have a good time. Anything goes, and trying new stuff and fumbling about is half the fun. Honestly, first few times I had sex, it was occasionally punctuated by laughter as stuff that seemed hot in theory totally turned out weird in practice. Sure, you could call it fumbling, but it was also pure fun disovering it together. Teeth... really aren't THAT bad. Yeah, you'll feel them if they brush your equipment, but they won't make you wince in pain from sheer contact. Unless you start biting, but it's unlikely you'll accidentally do that. In case you find the feeling unpleasant, the above applies: you mention what you're feeling reposition a bit, and you can move on. Gagging is generally solved by going slow. You don't prove anything by taking stuff all at once (and generally, slow and softly is more pleasant anyway). So you go until you start feeling a reflex and use that as the point to stop. Going slow is also the best general advice I can give, really. If you're going to be boyfriends, there'll be enough of opportunities to do all kinds of stuff. Sure, you want to try it all, but don't rush to the next position just because you feel you should have all the boxes on your checklist ticked off. I didn't really try that much stuff first time, but it was rather fun doing a few things absolutely right. So the best thing is to just go with the flow and do what feels right at the moment, communicating all the way. Last but not least... don't be distracted by lists of tips. Be careful, communicate, but you'll most likely find you exactly know what to do by just focusing on the moment.
1. Don't douche anyways, it is really bad for you. 2. No teeth unless very very very careful (aka don't bite his dick off). 3. Everyone gags (especially if you are both well endowed). Try sticking a banana down your throat without gagging. Few people can. Not a turn off, but get used to breathing through your nose. 4. Go slow and talk to each other. It will probably feel uncomfortable the first few times rather then really enjoying it. Once you get used to it and relax you'll be fine. 5. Have fun kids. 6. Don't be distracted by my list
Hm. Not sure if time for this given how soon your date is, but as far as oral and teeth...you might try eating an ice cream cone without using your teeth. Some people lick, some scrape ice cream from the cone with their teeth, some sort of use their tongue and lips and many use some combo of these at different times. The same sort of lip and tongue positioning that you use when eating the cone without using your teeth can be a baseline for doing oral without your teeth getting involved. Another approach is to imagine you are drinking water from a squeeze bottle or baby bottle. The sucking process, again without teeth. Really, you probably do lot of things with your mouth now that have you moving your teeth out of the way. You just don't think about it much. Finally, as long as you take things slow, even if your teeth do come into contact they wont hurt. Take it slow, relax, and just go with the flow and things will probably move along quite naturally. Todd
What Filip said about communication is really important. To quote Dan Savage, it's the reason gay sex is better than hetero sex, there is much more communication...of necessity! In contrast, with a woman, part A goes into slot B, simple enough not to talk about it (unfortunately for hetero couples) but with guys, it's not so obvious, you need to know what the other likes and dislikes. The charm of your first time will far outweigh any awkwardness, it's give and take, it's tender and rough, and the cuddling afterwards is sublime...have fun kids!
Well I did it! We started making out after watching some tv, and then I told him I was really horny and he said he was too and asked me if I wanted to go upstairs. So we did, I lay down on my back with my shirt still on but unbuttoned, and he jumped on top of me and started making out again. After a bit of that he went down and gave me a blowjob - which I might add he's really good at so it was amazing . I asked him then if he wanted to fuck me and he said yeah, so we got the rest of our clothes off and I gave him a condom. He fingered me first, and contrary to what everybody says, when he lined himself up with me and pushed in it didn't hurt at all. It was actually a lot of fun, but because I'm so tight he came really fast (~15 minutes). I wasn't done yet, so he made out with me while getting hard again and we did it again, same story. He came on my stomach and I was still hard, so he offered to bottom and I said sure. Apparently he hasn't bottomed for like half a year and wasn't originally planning on bottoming tonight, so he wasn't prepared and because I'm well-endowed it hurt a little. He had fun though, so I fucked him harder until I came. We cuddled for a while before getting dressed again so I could take him home. I can't wait until next time .
Thanks! Thankies! :icon_bigg Haha, yep, Canada is just full of excitement! (!) Yep, the boat has sailed! :lol: But thanks . What? Huh?
