Now, now...don't start freaking out...we're the same age. We met around October-November last year on *website that gets blocked out on here but you meet random strangers* and we hit it off. We then moved from the website to Kik, an iPhone/Android app. Everything originally started out sexual but we eventually became better friends and it turned into a real friendship. Then he was gone. Disappeared. Vanished. I was pissed. I really liked this guy. I would try and message him and occasionally I would see he read my messages...did nothing though. Fast forward to...well...Christmas day. I was bored at night in bed and decided to message him for the hell of it...and he responded! We talked and he explained himself. He was going out with this girl (he's bi) and didn't want to talk to me because he knew his feelings for me would get in the way. This girl ended up being a bitch and they broke up and that's when I reentered the picture. Then after that...once again...gone. I waited and messaged and waited some more and then finally...he was back! His iPod had broken and he only had Kik on his iPod. Since then...maybe March...we've been talking on a regular basis but on his schedule. He only can messaged me on days when he's at his mom's house since his dad doesn't have wifi at his house apparently. In this time I found out the name I knew him by was a pseudonym (yup, I use big words). I found out his real name and it proved that he was real. I found him on Twitter and Facebook and it proves he's from Philly too. Although he did say that he didn't have a Twitter. We talked up until I went on vacation for a week in Bermuda. Then I got back and he was gone again. He finally messaged me back Wednesday night explaining everything that had been going on and hopefully we'll be talking tonight. It's just kind of frustrating sometimes. I really like this guy but I know he's not to terms with his sexuality and he can be so confusing. What're your opinions on the whole situation guys?
Personally, I find that very shady behaviour. He has potential to be using you for whatever sort of 'game' he might be playing. I know you like him, but you might be better off cutting the friendship short. And he may be real, but that doesn't mean he's a good guy. Sorry to be blunt and bit negative, but it needed to be said.
Part of it, I know, is because he's not to terms with himself. He doesn't want to fall for a guy and wants to only have sex with them but I find it hard to take his word on that. I honestly can't seem to figure out what game he may be playing. He admitted to me that he was using a fake name and told me what his name was when I asked. The only real shady part I can think of is him not telling me he had a Twitter which I just subjected to him not wanting me to follow him.
I'd just like to preface what I'm about to say by saying that I promise I'm not try to belittle your feelings or make him seem like a bad guy. But talking to you, then disappearing, then talking to you, then disappearing - that's shady. If he isn't ready for anything more than sex with a guy, that's fine. But you have to protect your feelings from that. If you want sex with him too, that's great and be safe blah blah. But you apparently have feelings for him, and surely he knows how you feel even if only by the fact that you keep messaging him. He's not being a very good friend if he's willing to lead you on in the way he has been, because if he isn't ready to deal with the feelings he might be having for you or whatever... then you need to distance yourself from that. Be his friend by all means, but make sure you don't end up hurting yourself in the end.
This sounds more like a guy using you when nothing better is going on to fill in the space. You can waste all the time you want and he will never treat you better! I hate to be the bearer of bad news but that is my opinion. I have had lots of men chase me before and one kept it up for a good 10 years before he gave up and settled with someone else. That guy I was honest with and he kept thinking I would change my mind. This reminds me of that except this guy is making excuses instead of being honest like me. If you want to keep trying in hopes someday and make excuses for him, go for it! It is your heart that will be broken. If he had it for you, he would be finding a way to be with you at all costs, not making excuses! Just my opinion! Take Mike my partner, once he knew I liked him too, he never went home. June
Ha, that app you're referring to is like that :/ A lot of guys who are bi or just totally confused and you hit it off with them. The guy I'm in the same situation with messaged me randomly a couple of nights ago. He's also real but probably not giving me his real name because he, too, has a girlfriend. I mean, I know we'll never be much but he's got a great body haha. Not gonna lie. And when he wants to talk about shit, I give him advice. Maybe I'll see him one of these days, but who knows. As far as your situation (exactly the same as mine) I would recommend that you not get to invested in it. Enjoy it when he's there and actively pursue healthy relationships in your spare time. And one day you'll just have to break it off. I've been talking to this guy for a year on and off like that. And I guess the only difference between me and you so far is that you're really into him. I'd say there's nothing wrong with keeping him around if you make each other happy but don't let him get in the way of you finding someone else. Especially someone in person Don't get into relationships because you expect the other person to complete you buddy. Do it because you're already complete and you just want the icing on top If you're having a hard time with your emotions for him, just think about it logically. Is that the kind of boyfriend that you need? One that's going to be in and out of your life? The more negative aspects you can find about him, the better you can categorize your association with him.
But he has legitimate reasons for his ‘disappearing.’ Broken iPod…which he took a picture of for me; when he was dating that girl it was when he was coming to terms with the fact that he was bi and not gay and wanted to prove that he was bi; the most recent time was because he was in Maine and before that his mom and step-dad had been fighting which could’ve led to him moving away from all his friends and farther away from me and he talked to only one person. I do have feeling for him and he’s aware that I do and I know he has reciprocal feelings. I fail to see how this is all shady. While it may seem like I’m chasing after him, I hardly am. I have an active social life and am with my friends the majority of the week. I message him maybe once or twice a day…when it’s a possible talking day. Besides there is no possible way he can be with me. We’re both 16 and while we, or at least I can, drive…we live three hours away from each other. Matt isn’t making excuses either, he’s being honest. Actually our situations are not the same. Matt doesn’t have a girlfriend. We share similar emotions and the only thing that’s stopping him is that he’s not out. He’s already told me that if we meet in person he’ll happily give me his number and if he comes out then he’ll happily download Kik on his phone. We both are open with how we feel about each other: neither of us want a boyfriend right now. He doesn’t because he’s not out and I don’t because I simply don’t want one (for a quick note, if I wanted one, I would have one since my one friend who’s gay I think has a crush on me). Despite this we both have feelings for each other. Just a quick update though: we didn't talk Friday or last night. He messaged me last night around 3 AM saying this: dude I got your follow on Twitter (I had made a point to say that I had followed him after the last message). my entire face lit up the second I saw it. I honestly couldn't stop smiling. I was gonna come put and say it but I thought you were mad so I didn't wanna act like nothing happened. He knows me and knows it was better to not say it until he explained himself because otherwise I would've simply messaged back, "Where the hell have you been?!" There really are only three things left that are pissing me off: -despite his happiness, he didn't follow me back -he still doesn't respond to any of the snaps I send him on Snapchat -we haven't talked...still
