Let me start by saying Porn isn't cutting it and neither are romance fanfics or stories anymore I am lonely, like really lonely. And I'm starting to think about my ex in that way again, the one who lived in England and was long distance. I'm wondering if I could ever find anybody that nice again, somebody that tells me he loves me constantly and even wrote about me. So passionate. I'm wondering if I'll find anybody But, two nights ago, I was crying about how lonely I feel. I know, it's selfish to be doing this, and I feel like crap for it kinda, I feel like I'm self loathing when I shouldn't be... I kinda hate myself for feeling this way. several problems with finding somebody -Closeted to most people, but I'm ready to come out but don't want to make a big deal of it -Mom wants me to wait until I know how to defend myself -My gaydar absolutely utterly sucks I am taking my crush who is also my new neighbor to the pool tomorrow (Eye candy! Him and lifeguards :3 ), I don't know if he's straight or not, I told my mom I thought he was cute (She finally accepted it and isn't blaming herself anymore!) She said hat if he's not it'd be super awkward and his dad might come and beat me up, even though I got NO sense of bigotry or anything over religious. I even waited to eat my burger just in case they are the type that pray before eating while I was visiting. Plus, even though my gaydar sucks, it pings near him. I also don't know how to ask anybody out... :/ I feel like these problems are kind of, okay, very trivial compared to most everybody else's on here
I'm somewhat in the same situation. My suggestions: 1. Get to know him and see how he feels about homosexuality. ( but don't straight up ask him that question) 2. My gaydar sucks too, and I often think of certain people to be gay because I like them. This might be the same with you. 3. You should probably come out to him first, so he won't be to surprised when you ask him out. Those are just my suggestion with my own expierence. Do what makes you comfortable .
The reason you feel this way is you are *human*. Nothing good can come from self hate. You might want to tell that guy before it gets to the point where you'd be devastated if he reacts poorly. Also, you are only gonna stress about it more and more the longer you wait and possibly (if he's actually gay) delay a relationship.
Thanks, this is definitely trivial compared to other people's problems, I'm just happy I get to look at his chest tomorrow :3 lol, I even shaved my legs for the first time because they were hairy I told my mom they were hairy right before shaving them and she said "They're supposed to be hairy" I used my razor that I use right after my shower so she wouldn't know, I'm just hoping they don't break out.
