I met a guy on the Internet. He's really sweet and makes me feel really good about myself and talks to me dirty and I love it! Well after talking for maybe 4 hours he asks me out. In the spur of the moment I'm thinking, "this is so much fun and I would love to call this guy my boyfriend." Well now I'm rethinking my decision. He lives in a state that's 8 hours away, and I feel as though I don't really know him, and I feel like I made a huge mistake. I really don't want to upset this guy, but I feel like if I'm going to have a relationship right now I need the persons to be maybe at most an hour away. What should I do?:help:
"Boyfriend" is just one of many labels, and distance shouldn't be the only standard by which you decide such a label (there are many people who live farther than 8 hours away and yet are in deep relationships; while others are in the same city and yet are still noncommittal). If you don't want to call him that, that's fine. If you have been broadcasting that to him and/or others, then you need to talk to him first and apologize and say you have rethought that.
Not to contradict resu, but I will say that if he's 8 hours away, and you have no real means of getting to see him (which I'm assuming is the case as you're 16, though I may be wrong), then the distance may be a legitimate factor. Many people do have successful long distance relationships, but they also have ways of getting together every so often under their own resources. Regardless, though, if you're not ready for that level of investment, then I agree that the only thing to do is talk to him about it. Better now than later, in any case, and if he likes you and cares how you feel, then he'll want to know that you're considering this.
Well, I actually had a friend who had a long distance relationship with some guy in Russia (she learned Russian for him, and he learned more english for her), and it was a pretty stable relationship. She was your age at the time too. So, when it comes to something like this, it really depends on what you prefer in a relationship. Do you think that you would be able to manage a relationship where you can rarely see the other person? If you have doubts, then I think that it would be best to just talk to him about it. There's no point in leading him on (especially if he really does care for you) if you don't think you would be able to maintain this relationship. I wish you well dude, and good luck, I'm rooting for ya! (*hug*)
my girlfriend also lives far away...if you really feel strongly for him, distance plays no factor in your love. i've gotten accustomed to it, but as for you, maybe try to explain to him how you feel about the distance?
You spoke to him for 4 hours and he asked you out.. You really shouldn't even be considering the term 'boyfriend' at this point in time IMO
Shouldn't you be telling this to him? If you phrase it carefully, you can just tell him that you have your doubts about labelling it a relationship. The basis of any relationship (like for example normal friendships too) is communication, right? So just tell him what's on your mind. If you can't speak about that stuff to your bf, to whom can you?
I will third this point, and add that at 16, you should not be looking for a relationship online. Go hang out with friends and meet people that way. Good life lesson. Learn and move on.
@srslywtf and sigillumdiaboli I totally understand how this may sound a bit silly to you guys now, but remember being 16? I am convinced that Theatertennis17 approaches this with the same level of gravity someone older would approach a more adult relationship and, above all, attaches as much importance to it.
I actually agree with what srslywtf and sigillumdiaboli said. I ended it just now because while he made me feel really great I'm not ready for a long distance relationship, especially with someone that I barely know. If I am to have a relationship right now, it needs to be with someone that I make a bond with over time, not over night. Thank you everyone for the advice!
Congratulations on doing what you had to do! You will find someone soon who can give you what you need much better.