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My best friends is suggesting he's questioned things...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by rusteejay, Aug 6, 2013.

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  1. rusteejay

    rusteejay
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    Genuinely quite confused. My best friend, the guy I talk to about everything and anything has suggested he's been curious about being gay or the sexual side anyway. I don't know what to say to him. If he turned around and said he wanted to be with me I wouldn't even think twice. I don't want to press him too hard for answers but he is the one guy I would REALLY want to be with... We were best friends, saw each other every day until he moved away. Even then we still texted everyday. Spoke on Skype and told each other everything. What should I say to him? I don't want to scare him.
     
    #1 rusteejay, Aug 6, 2013
  2. rusteejay

    rusteejay
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    *Nudge* come on people please help! Im texting him right now and it's getting awkward!
     
    #2 rusteejay, Aug 6, 2013
  3. LD579

    LD579
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    It's a risk. Are you willing to help someone experiment, and just experiment, with nothing set in stone or guaranteed in the slightest? It's your call to make, and you know him, yourself, and your relationship with each other the best. It feasibly could change the dynamics of your friendship greatly. You're not a sex toy just because you like guys and he is one. It could be seen as such from his view, but that wouldn't be fair to you in the slightest. Make sure you're both clear on what would be happening, whether that's no-strings-attached sex, or something more, or what have you. I can understand that you like him a lot, but you have to look out for yourself. It wouldn't do if you got hurt over this... or so I think.
     
    #3 LD579, Aug 6, 2013
  4. rusteejay

    rusteejay
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    Yeah, I understand completely what you're saying. I always put myself first and last, usually at the same time and end up ruining things. I just don't want to scare him off especially when we've been friends for so long... I doubt he's gay but I still feel something. I dunno what it is. I think I'll just leave it for now, the convo has changed loads now anyway. Thank you for your input though! You're right im not a sex toy I think I'm very feminine in the way that I'd do things like that and get attached and them break my heart. As my friend Shannon said, im very masculine on the face of it but not so much on the inside! :slight_smile:
     
    #4 rusteejay, Aug 6, 2013
  5. ijustdontknow

    ijustdontknow
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    I'm an extremely confused person myself, so take my advice with a grain of salt. It sounds as though you really like him. It also sounds like he is just looking to explore his sexuality, not begin a committed relationship. I would say you should give him some time to sort out his feelings before pursuing him. Either he'll realize he's not gay/bi, in which case it will be a good thing you didn't experiment with him and possibly taint your friendship. Or, he'll realize he is, and you can then more confidently start to explore a relationship with him.
     
    #5 ijustdontknow, Aug 6, 2013
  6. wanderinggirl

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    I would ask something like "have you thought of anyone in particular?" to see whats on his mind.
     
    #6 wanderinggirl, Aug 6, 2013
  7. darth vader

    darth vader
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    You nailed it man! I just came out and confessed to a guy I've been secretly in love with for seven years through a letter. I just did that yesterday morning. I safely presumed in my letter that he is straight, that he's just polite and I know that I just belong in his friend zone even though it hurts like hell. I further wrote that silence will be his best answer if he can't reciprocate. Until now he hasn't replied and to figure out what's going on in his mind is a tiring mental exercise. My point is, I have already done my part. The ball is in the other court. Let it go. Let him figure things out for himself.
     
    #7 darth vader, Aug 14, 2013
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