Hey guys, this post is long so if you are too lazy i get it now I'm going to just get to the point. Now please keep an open mind that in the community we live in, it is very wrong to be gay. Not many people are out. Since it could mean a world of bad things to you if you came out. There's this guy lets just call him Mark. We have been friends for a long time and he is probably the only close guy friend that I have. He calls me his lil brother ...For a while now I have been questioning if he is gay or not. I mean we are really close. Every morning we wld have to talk and say goodnight at the end and he would get mad if I even forget to wish him goodnight. He says "Love you" and many times he calls me "babe". But to be fair I've seen him call other guys babe. So I think that doesnt mean anything. On occasion he would call me baby.:icon_redf I graduated and went to university and he was still in his last year of high school (hes been held back due to personal reasons)...Now he finally graduated and he told me he is going to come to my uni and damn im happy about that. At one point he even said "Cant wait to be with you." Is that something a straight guy says to another guy? Sometimes he even talks "dirty"...one time he said hell be gone For 15 minutes. I told him "Why what are you doing" - His response "What if im masturbating?" - I just said "For 15 minutes?? Wow youd have to be really horny for that" - Then he said "You already made me horny (a)" with that angel face. But then he immediately changed the subject. And stuff like this happens at time not just once. I am never sure if they are just jokes or not. But I pretend like they are jokes to him. But I noticed everytime I try to start a dirty joke like that, he diregards it quickly, changes the subject, and then I just feel stupid. Now the thing that makes me doubt everything. Is that he has a girlfriend. And ive been out with the both of them. And when we are all together he is all over her and acts all lovey dovey around her. He even threw her a surprise party. Now I know some gay guys tend to date for cover but im not sure about this. At one time we were all out together and Mark and I were talking And joking around. When his girlfriend made a joke by saying "Wow its like you two are the ones who are dating" and one time she was reading our conversation on his phone (and I noticed he tried to resist giving her the phone)...when she read it she was like laughing and saying "you guys are gay". But she was clearly joking. At times he talks to me about how he wants to marry this girl and that she is the only one for him. One thing that managed to open my mind to him being gay in the first place was when he invited me over to his house. Well, he told me the day earlier that he was going to the city to stay at his grandmas house. and his words were "Maybe I managed to see you (a)" So I went over and this night was filled crazy things. His grandma was not around so we were alone. And I noticed at time he would show his underwear. And one point he pulled down his pants and showed his Black boxers. So many things happened that I am not sure I can name them all. But ill just make a list of everything I can remember. - I noticed many times he "scratched" his crotch infront of me (at his house) - I was wearing jeans and he insisted I changed "right there and then" into some shorts I had in my bag. I did but nothing big there. (At his house) - He was showing me the view out the window. And when I went to the window he pushed up against me and pretend to hump me (at his house) - He did show me his penis. And he said show me yours when I did he made a kind of disgusted face while smiling (at his house) - We were both sitting and he quickly put his hand up my shorts and pulled some hair from my upper thigh. (At his house) - I was playfull making fun of him and he squeezed my dick as if to stop me while he was laughing but now he denies that happened. (At his house) -When I was saying goodbye he gave me a hug and then tried to give me a hicky on my neck. He laughed and laughed. (At his house) -More then once he would make sex noises by saying my name as a joke. (Not just his house) -we were at a mall once and saw a kid ride where u put a quarter in and it moves forward and backward. He said that I should go on it. So I told him that he should sit infront, his words "No I should sit behind so I could put my dick in your ass" -One time, he sort of mooned me but not pulling his boxers down. Saying "You like?" And laughing as he pulled his pants back up. (At his house) -When he put his hand up my short I did the same to him and I actually touched his ass and he didnt say anything:icon_redf:icon_redf -he kisses me on my cheek sometimes but here thats a normal greeting even for guys -one time we were in a car accident, and he was hospitalized for one night (I was fine) I stayed with him and for a long time he would just keep looking at me. Like he was worried -he always worries about me. If I hadnt talked to him in a while he gets sick with worry -I have other friends who say that he is gay by his acting. -I actually asked him if he was gay once, he denied it. I asked later on as a joke still nothing. I assured him no matter what he could tell me anything I would still love him...got nothing Im sure therr is more but thats all I can list for now...please help...I really need to know
The harsh reality is no one on here will know, only he knows and straight people can act in very odd ways at times. I know it is going to tear you up inside and of little help but until someone says "I am x" then there really is no way of telling - some people exhibit all of the signs and symptoms but are straight. Does he know you are gay? I'm guessing not and you might find to him it is just a game, unfortunate in your position but not unknown.
No he doesnt know...well I know that I cant really tell until he confesses...but according to the signs what would you say? In your opinion?
He said he wants to marry his girlfriend. Not sure your age, but the rest seems like teenagers fooling around to me. Maybe he is a little curious about being with a guy, and a little scared to act on it in a non-joking way, so he uses humor to cover it up. I don't think you are reading into things the wrong way because these are all pretty solid evidence, but I dont think it is anything more than a straight guy pushing the boundaries out of curiousity maybe a little further than a usual straight guy would.
Thanks for the reply...but those are just stuff thats happened that make me think of that...but at time hes very loving...like when he eating something he would cut off a piece with his fork and feed it to me. He would start a conversation by saying "Hey sunshine"...some times he called me dear. JuSt those little things that make me smile
I'd be guessing..all I'll say is that I was convinced (with very similar signs to you) someone was gay but he denied it and is now in a straight relationship and very happy. It drove me absolutely wild at the time also, he had very similar signs during his teenage years which drove me crazy but they tailed off as he got older...robclem21 is probably on the money when he talks of people pushing the boundaries. Who knows perhaps I am wrong, it might be an idea to tell him first and see how things go.
Maybe you should tell him, not how you feel about him specifically, but that your gay. You guys are close right? So... He should understand if he's a real friend even if he turns out to be straight. Unless of course your in a situation coming out is completely out of the question.
That's a real bitch of a situation you're in there. I totally see why U think he's gay but sometimes people can be like that. Straight girls get away with that kind of behaviour so why can't guys? Its like my argument about men having to wear a shirt and tie and women can wear a flowery dress in an office environment. Its all about gender stereotypes and you have to consider these when considering your own situation. Is he just being a girly friend. Maybe I've got the wrong end of the stick, but I feel like I have a valid point there
This can be tricky! When you will know is when he asks for sex. Take my partner, the first day he mentioned that years earlier when we first met he admired my ass and told his GF at the time he did not care if it sounded gay, but I had a nice ass and Ken had done well for himself. Ken is my last BF and my current BF's cousin. That had me wondering like you are now. The little innuendos that they are game for it will drive you crazy. The bottom line is the ball is really in your court! In my case I just let him know I wanted to see it as he talked about it's looks and size enough to peak my curiosity, so he pulled it out and showed it and I let him know how impressed I was. Then the next time I saw him he wanted a BJ, so I played my cards right and hooked him! You have to let him know you are interested in beyond friends and put the ball in his court without pushing him, but letting him know it's ok and you are game and see what happens. Good luck, June
If he has a girlfriend and wants to marry her (supposedly or not), you need to respect that. Ask yourself what's worth more: the shot of a relationship with him or your long-time friendship?
That is how I got Mike exactly with a few juicy details left out to keep it G-rated. It was the same little hints he would throw at me. I think to see my reaction really as he was curious and wanted a try, as I now know he loved me then for many years. I could have done nothing and he might not be mine now. Now each guy is different and you must read his cues and go from there.
Hard to say. My experience is when anyone says something like 'youre a brother/sister' to me.. it means thats how they feel, not like they love you are attracted to you, but are like family and they deeply care. But then the other stuff. I'm probably a bad judge at this soorta thing anyway.
I kind of agree with he's just a little curious. Straight guys are curious sometimes and probably likes pushing it a little with you. That said, if he has a gf and even wants to marry her, its best to leave it alone. I know, much easier said than done. But you sounds very fond of him and like having him around. Be there for him, and be his friend. Just my 2 cents.
Don't do anything that could damage your friendship. Straight guys can often get flirty when they're comfortable with their sexuality. If he's gay, wait until he tells you, but I'd assume that he's straight, just to be safe.
Thanks all for the suggestions, just a few things I also noticed. -Everytime we talk and he asks what am I doing...when my response is "Nothing, just lying in my bed"..he would sometimes reply with "Want me to join you? (A)" -Hes been saying he misses me alot too and says "wish u were here"
From what you have told us it sounds like he is straight and is just acting like a typical straight dude. I remember when i was closeted I was afraid to play around with the guys and "act gay" with them because it felt too uncomfortable for me. I think for many guys who aren't out probably feel this way, the whole out of sight out of mind thing.
He sounds straight to me. I know two guys who are extremely close and they constantly flirt with each other, yet both of them are straight and have girlfriends. So his behavior sounds very "bromance-y". I wouldn't think too much of it and would just see his actions and words as playful.
