Let's start with background info. I have almost no memory of anything before I moved to Arkansas over 9 years ago. That means preschool, pre-k, and most of kindergarten. The memories I do have are hazed and mixed together so much I can't even try to date them. I have always know this. But I didn't know why. That was my realization tonight. I began by thinking how even though I was 5/6 years old at the time, I have no memory at all of my parents divorce. None. Yet still today, I struggle with the effects of it and battle the drepession and feelings it carries. I believe what I have done to myself is slowly rid myself of my childhood memories before 6 years old, when we moved out, to block the pain of what really happened. I had always been greatful about not remembering the divorce. But now I'm not so sure. Because now I know that my early childhood went along with those memories. I'm glad I now know this, but it shows me how much the divorce has actually affected me. This is horrible.
It's not that uncommon to have few memories from before the age of 5 or 6 - in fact, I don't remember much from before I was nine. Apparently something just kicked in late. So while I, of course, can't tell you that you don't in fact have any repressed memories about the situation, I can say that it's not the only possible explanation for why you don't remember your fourth year of life. What's the situation been like with your parents after the divorce? Say, within the last few years? It's also worth keeping in mind that a divorce is a (sometimes long) process, and it likely didn't just happen all at once when you were a specific age. None of which is to try to tell you that you're wrong - if you're feeling the stress of your parents' divorce, that's totally understandable. I just don't think it's necessary to scare yourself into believing that some unknown horrible thing in your past triggered some kind of present stress - popular media imaginings aside, I don't personally believe that's all that common.
