Could my son be gay? *Long post*

He could be gay. He could be straight. He could be bisexual. There are other possibilities, but we can simplify it to that. You've already asked, and he told you he isn't, so there isn't much you can do but continue to be supportive of him. If or when he is ready, assuming he does like guys in that way, we can hope that he'd feel comfortable to tell you. I wish you the best =)

As for 'tendencies', those are just stereotypes. Stereotypes are not reliable indicators of one's sexuality.

 

You're missing the quite obvious possibility of him being bi. If anything I would say he's bi or bi-curious.

Also you're going to need to understand, he's going to watch porn whether you allow him to or not. Watching porn is much better than any alternatives out there.

 

Every person is different and has different interests and habits, only he knows fully what sexuality he is.

 

It is possible that he is bisexual or curious. Since you have already asked and he said no, just leave it at that, but let him know you would support him either way. If he is bisexual or gay, he will tell you when he is comfortable. Good luck.

 

THIS. times 100

 

Now that you've assured your son that he can tell you, you're just going to have to wait till he's ready. From what i understand, anal stimulation and gay porn are both common for a lot of kids who end up being hetero. That's an age when hormones can take over and you and he just have to wait it out.

 

Bisexuality is a possibility in this instance. I feel the same way he does almost. He may be sexually attracted to men, but he has a girlfriend. I discovered I was this way at his same age of 14. I'm turning 15 soon, and my orientation has become a possibility of me being bisexual. He could very well be bisexual. About his answer to you about his sexuality, he is probably in shock that you found out and he just doesn't want to tell anyone about it yet. Wait and see what he has to say. Coming out to family members is the hardest thing to do, so give him some time and leave the subject alone.

 

Just give him some time. He may feel uncomfortable or unsure about his sexuality at this moment. Since he is still a teen (like myself), he may still be figuring out what sex he prefers etc. He could be gay, bi, straight or bi curious, heavens who knows yet
He could most probably be bi curious and is experimenting at this moment in time.

 

Sticking markers in an anus is not a good idea... they probably don't cover stuff like that in sex ed, but it might be good to bring up the dangers of doing this.

 

You'll really just have to wait it out. Just because we can tell, or we approach someone about sexuality, doesn't mean it's the appropriate time. My mom caught me with the porn thing around the same age, but I denied it for another 6 years. And then at some point, it became an, "I don't know" response.. everyone comes around in their own time. You're right to be suspicious. And I agree that the porn and the other experimentation should be limited or at least discretionary, damn lol. He's not good at hiding it I guess. I think you're an awesome mom and hopefully he'll come to you when he's ready. And there's a good chance you don't have anything to worry about also. He's likely bisexual or just bi-curious. Either way, once he finds out..he'll let you know. Just try to keep the avenues for communication open.

 

I would agree with those who say it may be a bit too early to tell. He is likely still exploring his sexuality and although he definitely shows signs of having a gay bias (if you like), that doesn't mean he will be gay once he grows up. Keeping an open channel with your son is indeed the best thing you can do right now. If you fear your husband might react very negatively towards this, just help your son (without him necessarily knowing it) to stay in his current closet (if that is where he is) until he and you (in that order ;-) feel safe to come out (if that is the case). I am also a bit concerned about the objects he is using as risk for infections etc. are real. So, if you feel he would be willing to discuss this, please advice not to use these objects (if you are really bold, you might consider buying toys that are made for this purpose and safe, but I understand you might not want to go there). In sum, he needs time and space to figure things out. He has a girlfriend so he the option to explore that type of relationship. If he likes it, fine. If he doesn't, you can tell.

Good luck and as Chip and others said, it is great to see a parent so supportive.

 

Hey its pretty cool that you wouldn't care if your son was bi, as i did the same thing he did with markers etc.; the thing is that you should let him explore his feelings because you never know, but make sure he doesn't anally pleasure himself all the time, but its inevitable if he does it, just observe his feelings because i know other parents hate it and repress their kid. If he ever does come out, be happy

 

Perfectly honest...

If my mother was trolling my life that closely I would not give her fodder to be trolling my life even closer.

When my older sister asked my parents if they thought I was gay they told her it was none of any bodies business and not discussed.

I believe you are summarily putting your son's trust before a firing squad.

 

Chances are he's bisexual. Seeing as you've seen faeces around several times and gay porn, then bisexual is the most likely. But take this from a boy of the same age: don't pressure him to come oit and leave him to do it in his own time. Coming out is not all about trust. It's about accepting yourself and figuring yourself out too. And believe me, that can take years.

 

Yeah, I'd echo what others said and be more concerned that he is well informed on things like safety, safe sex etc and doesn't endanger himself in any way.

As for labels, really they don't matter that much and some people think something only to find out something else - and as you said, it wouldn't change how you treat him to know he's gay, so as long as he's comfortable with you and you guys have a great relationship, it doesn't matter at all.

 

I think you need to have a serious sex education talk with him.

 

I know a guy who's gay but he has "straight tendencies" - meaning he likes to watch football and play sports and hangs out with all the guys. He might be bi too or he might be straight but enjoy gay porn. There are a lot of possibilities, but he's still probably trying to figure out what he is. I'd wait until he came to terms with his sexuality and told you himself instead of trying to push it out of him.