Okay, so I have a crush on straight guy. Crazy thing is, he's like my best friend. We spend a lot of time together. Just hanging out, doing things, and so on... He doesn't know about me though. He's 100% straight. I am sure of that. Especially from conversations that we've had & what not. My thing is, is that we are neighbors. Which makes it even harder to let go of these feelings. But that's what I want to do. I want to let go of all this. I still want to keep him as my friend though. He's literally been the most amazing friend I've ever had. & I damn sure don't want to loose that! Just like this past week we've spent time together every single day for the past like 4 days, but yesterday we didn't see each other & i noticed he had left & didn't get home til late. & i was so upset about that. Which is NOT good! Why the hell should i be upset about something like that? that's silly. it's like i want to be up around him all day, every day yet i know that can't happen. and it's like i expect him to invite me everywhere... but i know that's not gonna happen either. It's like i'm in love without being loved back. which sucks so bad. I feel the sense of me getting depressed. It's like when i'm around him, everything is right with the world. it's perfect. but when i'm not, i tend to think of every reason of him being mad at me, or upset with me. like even if we've had a perfect day together, when i get home it's like these thoughts come into my head like "did i say something wrong?" did that come out right?" etc.... and i HATE that. :/ ... anywho, if anyone out there has any type of advice at all.. please, please let me know! i thank you so much. ps- i know this story may be a little confusing but if you have any questions, feel free to ask!
first u seriously need to chill. ur too worked up about this. my say on this is that if ur sure he's 100% straight and has no intention of ever being anything else, u should suppress those feelings as much as u can. avoid him for days if need be but dont ruin the friendship by ur desire of it being something else. i really hope it works out.
Suppressing things in general is usually a bad idea. That's what leads closeted people to being closeted. Anyways, the big 3 things people here usually advocate in terms of advice on how to get over a crush is time, distance, and distraction. Time is pretty straightforward, feelings fade with time. Distance is a little harder physically, since you are his neighbour. However, if you choose to, you can always put a little bit more social distance between you two. By that I mean hanging out with other people, spending more time away from each other, etc. It doesn't have to be permanent, but it may help your feelings subside more quickly. Distraction - find another guy to crush on! Preferably one who's into guys . You can also start immersing yourself in other aspects of your life. Get busy with school/work, pick up a new hobby, etc.
I know the feeling. I have it really bad because I've been unconsciously surrounding myself with guys that are really hot and awesome. I just.. Happen to be in love with or have a crush on.. All my friends. I don't know where I was going with that sorry.
First of all, you're not crazy. You may think that you're going crazy, but you're not. I just went through the same thing for the first time. I'm still going through it, and I'm still struggling to get out of it. I'm in love with a straight guy, and he obviously can't love me back. If you're in love with this guy, which it sounds like you are, it's only natural for you to think about him all the time. And I'm sure you analyze everything he says. And every move he makes. And if he isn't spending time with you, you question who he is spending time with? It's torture, it really is. I went through EXACTLY the same thing. And letting go is hard, it really is. In your situation, I would venture to say that it's nearly impossible. You see him basically everyday I'm sure. And you say that he doesn't know about you, so I'm assuming that you're not out to anyone. That makes it even more difficult. Here's my advice, and take it with a grain of salt, because I'm new at this too: First, come out to him. Tell him that you're gay. If you guys are best friends, he will almost certainly understand. There are always certain caveats, but you will know those better than I do. But don't tell him about you're feelings for him right away. That would almost certainly freak him out. Let him get used to the idea of you being gay. Once he is used to the idea of you liking other dudes, then it may be time to admit your feelings for him. Don't come on to him, because you know he is straight. Just TELL HIM. Be honest and sincere. Tell him it's been driving you crazy, and that you just had to get it off of your chest. His answer, of course, will be that he's not interested in you. Well obviously, but it's amazing how much it helps to hear it straight from him. In my very novice opinion, this is the best way to remain friends with this guy and still maintain your sanity. The one thing that you absolutely can't do is bottle up your feelings. That will just drive you insane, and I know that from personal experience. Again, take my advice with a grain of salt, but I truly believe this is the best way to deal with your situation.
