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Does high intimate friendship allways ends up as...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by InactiveUser1, Aug 9, 2013.

  1. InactiveUser1

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    Does a high intimate friendship always ends up as an affair of some sorts ?

    THAT question came up after i searched the forum soo many times on things as friends changing into affair and i searched not few.. threads even some old ones and the if not turning into affair the feeling to do it still exist...

    is the boundary of soul mate/best friend sooo dangerously close on the affair one ?

    and in the end 1 final question comes up is it POSSIBLE to have a soul mate/best friend without worried of changing into an affair ?

    Ps. i hope some people DO give me some opinions and ideas about this matter....(&&&)
     
    #1 InactiveUser1, Aug 9, 2013
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2013
  2. Mhin

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    Mostly yes, might end up as an affair. The best relationship always starts with friendship
     
  3. Deranged06

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    Your post made me smile... Ok I'll share you my story.

    I was 7 when I met this beautiful girl she's a year older than me, who lived two blocks away from my house. We got paired up by our sitters for a dance. That's the start of our friendship. we became more close when we hit our teens, we're inseparable. We play, do stuff together, mutual interests, we have different personalities but we compliment each other, we know our way around each other, we finish each other's sentences, we communicate with our eyes and body language. We've been friends for like 23 years now (6 years apart). We have a weird connection lol.

    So from puppy love to platonic to romantic to platonic. They overlap, sneaky and at times confusing but the transition overall was still easy. She got married 3 years ago with one of our childhood friend. Earlier this year she told me that I will be her forever love and bestfriend. A thing like this -more than bestfriend less than lovers kind of deal is very rare.
     
  4. Chip

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    First, I'm not sure what a "high intimate" friendship is. But if you mean a close, emotionally deep friendship, no... by no means are they necessarily going to end up sexual. I've had a number of friends I was very close to where neither of us has ever had even the slightest interest in sex with one another, and I know many other gay people in the same position.

    Of course, there are many others who, for one reason or another, have difficulty not crossing that line, but it's far from an absolute.
     
  5. Capsaicin

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    No, but emotional intimacy easily leads to other feelings and requires caution and honesty with oneself.

    Since I am in a long-term relationship, I watch where I tread when it comes to intimacy replacement. The closeness itself is one thing, but if I were to start, say running into someone else's arms for a good cuddle and talk after every argument it ventures into a grey area, especially since I'm not a cuddly person in the first place (and we actually strongly prefer to keep it between us).

    That's the kind of thing that has to be played by ear. If I'm not getting it from him because he's busy or isn't interested in the subject, it's okay. If I'm not getting it from him because we're having a fight or we disagree about it happening and I'm replacing him or sneaking with someone else I'm emotionally intimate with but not physically, it's probably not okay.

    Again, a lot of grey area.
     
    #5 Capsaicin, Aug 9, 2013
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2013
  6. InactiveUser1

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    thanks guys for ur opinion till now.. and i think in the end sex preferences MOSTLY decide if they will become an affair or no 0_0 at least this is my conclusion till now
     
  7. Pat

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    It really comes back to how you felt in the beginning in my opinion. If you talked to the person because you found them attractive, it's going to come back up in some form or fashion. If you developed feelings because of how they treated you, that too would come back up. If you always had a brotherly affection for the person, then I think the odds are slim. I can't give a positive example because in the back of my mind, I'm attracted to all of my male friends lol. The ones I'm closed to anyway. I like the thought that I'm close to them in a way that even their girlfriends may not be. And the fact that I cherish the relationships is why I think I'd never act on impulse.