Hello ec, I'm making this post because I don't know how to act when my parents are exposed to anything gay-related. Here's the deal: My parents are Christian and have Christian beliefs, so no gay acceptance whatsoever. However, now that they have been watching the news and seeing other things on television that have been more gay-accepting, they are starting to realize that gay people might not be bad. When I see my parents talking about this, I don't know how to react towards them. Do I walk away and let them keep their beliefs, or do I confront them and ask why they think gay people are wrong? -- The other day I was on vacation with my family, and my mother was outside talking to her brother's step sister, and they brought up a conversation about my mother's step sister's son - who is gay. I was just sitting outside and it felt very awkward because I am pretty much gay, but I'm still closeted; I don't want to come out to my parents until I'm able to support myself, so I'm not going to tell them now. What is the best way to address these things without creating a conflicting conversation, thanks.
Dont retaliate when they go against gays. It will probably make them super suspicious (unless they are thick lol). Do what you would normally do but try not to get involved too much in a conversation. You could spill some beans.
I have always been very outspoken about my beliefs concerning equality and my family and friends were still shocked when I came out so don't worry about outing yourself by expressing your beliefs. I think you should make yourself a part of the conversation and tell them about your beliefs. I don't recommend launching a full fledged argument, but I do think giving them a different perspective could be useful. Most of the homophobic people I have come in contact with are completely shaken in their beliefs once they figure out that I am gay so just know that people can change when it comes to the people they love.
I agree with the other poster when they say not to retaliate. I learned the hard way quite a few occasions, because it always ended for me in arguments.
You can make a stance without outing yourself. Do simple things, I follow HRC and Marraige Equality through social networks and share stuff they post, but don't be overbearing about it. Think about how they push on you all the time. Make a stance but don't sink to their level.
You can always give your opinion without being hostile. When they have a conversation about it if you were to interject your opinion with a calm attitude I doubt that they would suspect anything. If you got passionate that might be a different story. Just be ready for your opinion to be denounced.
I think I would lean towards trying to suppress any unintentional emotional harm that their views might have on you. It might be okay to say things passingly like a line or two such as "I don't think it's that big of a deal these days", "my friends would find such comments weird" or "be careful not to say such outspoken views in public". What I say when my dad or brother use the term "gay" in a demeaning way is to say "I'd get in a lot of trouble for sayin that at school" or if it was just my brother then "you could get suspended/ in a lot of trouble if you say that in school". To summarize, something that lets your parents know that you have different views then them but are not so polarly opposite from them. Lines like these might be less prone to start arguments or incur suspicion because they imply that they are not only your views but the views of other people. If further questions do arise, you can just say you we're stating public or third-party opinion, and that you are really neutral in their views. Some EC members are more vocal about their stance, and they provide some good advice, but they also might be more open and ready to accept criticism or any other reactions. It depends how comfortable you are, but if you're less confortable with putting yourself in the line of fire, so to speak, you might look into this type of reaction in response to their views. It is certainly my preferred method at the moment for parents and family. Tell me what you think and how it goes!
You should probably try to get their perspective on it In a kind of...Subtle? Way... And maybe (gently) Counter what they say I dunno...
Stand your ground but don't expect them to change (for now at least) just because you make a valid argument. Things could very well change (especially when you come out to them). You are their child after all and that puts things into perspective for most parents. I've learned that what really counts deep down is that YOU know what is right. Let them work things out for themselves.
