Hey, everyone! I really need to get something off of my chest before I cry and scream. So, my brother and a female (she's bisexual) friend and I were having a discussion earlier. We were pretty much talking about the differences between bisexual and lesbian women. Now, I've known that I was gay since I was very young, but was in serious denial. To the point where I'd date men just to prove to myself that I did not like men. I mean, I've done this many times because I was not 100% comfortable with who I was. So, I guess you could say that I've used men to hide my true identity. Although, I was always up front with them about my feelings for women. So, during our conversation, they pretty much said that they see me as being bisexual. And it pissed me off, but I didn't want to end the night on a bad note. Because I know who am and I feel like a lesbian regardless of their opinion. It just hurts because it has taken me years to fully accept who I am and now, they're trying to redefine me. I do not feel bisexual, and it's not like I have anything against those who are; the label just does not fit me. I'm not a lesbian who dislikes men because I have kids by a man and I love my boys. With that being said, I do not plan on being with another man ever again. Not only that, I'm really happy and proud of being a lesbian. After all of the heartache and struggles that I've endured, now, I've got people telling me who they think I am. And I'm just sick of others who try to define you, because the last time I checked, I thought that was my job. I'm really upset and I don't want to talk to them about it because they'd never understand why I'm upset. They claimed that it is just "their" opinion and that there's no reason to be hurt by it. Then again, maybe I'm going a bit overboard. I should also mention that my Mom has said the same thing to me once before. And I was livid! I'm sorry if anything is repetitive, I'm really tired and my eyes burn Any advice/suggestions are much appreciated
If you were comfortable with yourself then what anyone else says really wouldn't bother you because all that would matter is how you feel. Labels are for clothes I'm just saying
You could let them know about how you feel. It's important for you to not feel judged by friends, who should be there for you within reason. Letting them define you would not be fair to yourself. I can understand that you may not want to be pushy or anything, but I would say it'd be more about standing up for yourself. If they take it badly and don't act nicely to you afterwards, maybe they don't deserve to be your friend, as harsh as it may sound.
Hey, thanks for the quick responses guys. dfiant- You're so right, labels are for clothes and canned goods. It's just really important to me for them to know that I am comfortable with who I am. And using the label lesbian/gay makes me feel even more confident. Luthan- I am going to let them know how I feel because I do feel judged. It makes me feel like I cannot talk to them about my feelings anymore. I just believe that my history with men should not dictate my sexual orientation. I've had a very difficult time accepting who I am, but it has become easier overtime.
