This guy seems to like me and I have a crush on him as well... he's always flirting with me - he's very touchy but it feels weird because it's usually in school and I'm not out yet (neither is he) so I'm never sure about how to react, especially because I'm pretty shy so I'm afraid he thinks I don't like him back. I know it sounds weird and silly posting it here but I'm really insecure about how to respond to his flirting or even taking the next step.
First of all, welcome to EC! If you think he is gay or bi, you should just ask him. It would be best to do this through text or something in-case someone hears you. If he asks why just say that it's a rumor and you wanted to know the truth. It would help him come out if you came out as well, but if you do make sure that it stays a secret. I don't know how old you are or if you're in college, high school etc. It would help. If he says no to the gay question ask if he is bi. If he says no to that too then he obviously isn't ready to come out (to you) just yet.
I don't think you should make up anything exactly. If you tell him it's a rumor, he'll probably become very self conscious and perhaps become even upset at the notion... We have to learn how to be straight forward.. And this is a troublesome place to be in kind of. I'm assuming that you're in high school. Just because a boy flirts with you and even seems touchy feely isn't always an indicator that he's gay. He could very well be gay, but as we all know, you don't tell anyone that kind of thing until your time comes. We all do it at different times and I think the entire idea of asking him is kind of.. idk. I think if you guys have become friends, why not invite him somewhere and ask him what he thinks of people who have those feelings? and just pay attention to the answer so you can see an opening for yourself to come forth. And then, in that moment, you may or may not get your answer. It's perfectly fine to assume that someone who flirts with you and makes contact with you often is interested in something other than friendship, but the only way to be sure about that would be to address it full on. I had the same issue and my friend's straight. So try to be strategic if you can, but don't feel like you can ask someone else to be vulnerable while you conceal yourself. If you pose the question, be the vulnerable one first, and then see what he has to say. Good luck.
