Want to break friendship...friend doesn't get hints!!!

Hi~

Please help me out, I don't know what to do about this "friend".

During middle school, I was best friends with this girl (let's call her V). In grade 9, we still got along. However, past that point our friendship started having some tension. My friend began to constantly put me down, and the weird thing is, I'm not even sure she was aware of it.

She also changed a lot. She has always liked guys, but when she got a crush in high school she got her friends to video tape him and take pictures of him behind his back. It seemed a little obsessive to me... :dry:

The other thing that drove me up the wall about her was that she would try to find out info about me from out moms. Basically, her mom started to ask my mom about my mental health like "Is Alice seeing a doctor?" or "What conditions does she have?" I really didn't want anyone to know that stuff, so someone trying to pry it out o my family instead just asking me irritated me. She also pulled the "I-will-bring-it-up-in-front-of-many-people tactic. :dry:

Just a bit of background info about her. Anyway, the problem is, I don't want to hang out with her anymore. It was hard to be away from her in high school, since she hung out with all my friends. I have made sure not to be in contact with her, or go anywhere she does this summer.

Unfortunately, she won't really get the hint that I don't want to be friends. :icon_sad: In high school, I tried to stop hanging out as much but even then it didn't really penetrate. She keeps saying about how were going to be friends for a long time and invites me over. I keep trying to come up with excuses, hoping she would get the hint after a while. But it has been 2 years and she still doesn't seem to get it.

V is also very sensitive and tells her friends (and mine) everything. So, if I just told her point blank that I didn't want to be friends, she would paint me out to be the bad guy. Any ideas on how I can resolve this????

Any thoughts would help, I don't now what to do anymore.

 

@ Two Shakes
Thanks for the good advice. V is a good person and all, we are just total opposites. And unfortunately, she is the type to try to fox friendships. At one point, when I thought she may have sensed something was off, she became extremely clingy, to the point where if I would mention going somewhere, she would say "OMG, I'll come." :/

I am not great at being direct, but likely at some point it is as you said... I will eventually have to be upfront or have this go on for a while.

---------- Post added 15th Aug 2013 at 11:33 PM ----------

@ sharkpool

Unfortunately, it is one of those circumstances where my friends are her friends. It would escalate to a pick-a-side cat fight if I did that.

 

@ Boyfriend
Thanks for the advice. I think you may be right, hints really aren't working at this point.

 

@ thedreamwatch and Hrantou

Thanks.

 

@dfiant

Yes, I thought about that a lot too. It makes the whole situation even harder. I know that she has general anxiety (like me). But that's all I know about her issues really. She gets good grades, 90's mostly, hangs out a lot with her other friends (she does have quite a lot, ranging from 6-15) and seems happy most of them time.

The only thing she isn't happy about is that she doesn't have a boyfriend. She has wanted one for a long time. I'd be also kinda afraid of her learning about me being bi as she proclaimed once that "Lesbians make me really uncomfortable" and is religious.

In a way, I'd also be afraid that I could never be me around her.