When I was 14, I made a few mistakes. Basically I tried to grow up too fast and had a few sexual encounters with a 17 year old. Then at 14, I kissed somebody who was way too old for me (not saying the age of the person). I used to meet up with people off the internet, and text alot of older people. I even lied about my age for a while.. However, when I was 15, that stopped. I had a boyfriend and he tried to do stuff with me but I stopped it before anything happened, then we broke up. Then last year, I was with a lad who was 19, and I was 16.. We had 2 sexual encounters. Then 2 months after I broke up with him, i asked my current boyfriend out. We've been together for over a year. But we have this ongoing problem where he says he hates my past and he hates imagining it and thinking about it and picturing it cause its like it wasnt even me cause Im so different now, and he thinks that all my past will catch up on me somehow and he wouldnt be able to handle that. Other than me, hes never had any boyfriend, sexual encounter or even a kiss with another lad. I have no idea what to do. Does anybody know anything I could do to help our situation? I Love Him to bits, but this really hurts the two of us.
Your past is your past and you can't go back and change it. In this particular situation, it's not even a case of you 'making amends' for something, both by the nature of what it was you did and because it doesn't seem like you actually hurt anyone by doing it. Maybe your BF is worried that your greater experience makes you compare his performance in bed against your previous experiences and that he'll come up short. Or that you might dump him for someone else or something. At the end of the day those are his issues however. He needs to get over it really. That said, maybe you could point out to him that you love him and only him and don't want anyone else. And that's even when you consider the sex you've had with past partners. Don't know if that will help him or not, but it might be worth a try. Hope this helps, Todd
He can't really be mad your past is your past, As long as you don't do that anymore then he should have no problem
Yesterday cannot be changed, tomorrow cannot be known, so all we have is today. Be present in the present . This quote from the Dalai Lama seems particularly applicable to your situation. All we have is the present time and we need to make the very best of it we can. Worrying about the past or trying to project events that "might" happen in the future just take away from our living the current moment fully. So why waste this moment? It's the only chance we have to live it! Perhaps explaining this to your boyfriend might help?
