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Seeking advice on lesbian relationship timeline

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by wanderinggirl, Aug 19, 2013.

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  1. wanderinggirl

    wanderinggirl
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    People say that lesbian relationships move faster than straight relationships. Is this true in general? Or is this an oversimplification? How do I avoid being swept up in it and letting things move way too quickly? (we're past the 3rd date and havent UHauled yet, so I'm guessing we're ahead of the curve, but I just want to make sure...)
     
    #1 wanderinggirl, Aug 19, 2013
  2. BooksJeansTea

    BooksJeansTea
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    Have you talked to her about this?:slight_smile: I'm not an expert but it's probably a good place to start. Sounds to me like it's not that you don't like her (in fact, sounds like you really like her :wink:), just that you don't want to ruin a good thing by being too hasty.
     
    #2 BooksJeansTea, Aug 19, 2013
  3. wanderinggirl

    wanderinggirl
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    That's exactly the situation; we're both caught up in it and really like each other, but we've only known each other a few weeks. I wouldn't be worried, but both my brother and best friend have commented on how fast it's moving, and my best friend said "well lesbian relationships are known to move pretty fast." So I'm wondering if there's something about a lesbian relationship that makes us move things along too fast or if this is actually a really good sign? How do we tell?
     
    #3 wanderinggirl, Aug 19, 2013
  4. Thegreatperhaps

    Thegreatperhaps
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    Yeah, lesbian relationships do typically move "fast." I was aware of this before dating my current girlfriend and tried to prevent it as the idea of things not progressing normally kind of scared me, but once I let my guard down with that idea, I noticed that we probably move a bit quicker than usual. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: Every relationship is different however, and I believe the main focus should be your happiness.
     
    #4 Thegreatperhaps, Aug 19, 2013
  5. Amelie

    Amelie
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    Hi,

    I've been wondering about this a little lately as my gf and I have begun discussing moving in together after just 5 months of being together.. I had a little nervous moment the other day, not really about our relationship, that's solid and I couldn't be happier, just because I was a bit worried about what other people would say and, when I mentioned it to a couple of the guys I work with (good friends of mine), their faces said they thought it was too soon...

    Anywho, I read a few online forums where this topic had been raised, and some wise person (somewhere) said that you should move as fast as feels natural for you. If you try and slow things down deliberately to comply with "conventional wisdom" (you know, "marry in haste, repent in leisure"etc.) then, in effect, you are stunting the growth of your own relationship.. and why would you want to do that? Similarly of course, if you feel like it is going too fast, then it probably is...

    So then I figured, perhaps lesbians tend to move more quickly because we don't have the same hang-ups about the "proper way of doing things". After all, most of us will know only a few other lesbian couples and therefore, how can there be a "proper" way of doing things... we are maybe more inclined to just do what feels natural rather than what is expected of us..

    "Straight" relationship conventions need not apply - yey us!

    :slight_smile:

    x
     
    #5 Amelie, Aug 20, 2013
  6. Lexington

    Lexington
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    What does a lesbian bring on the second date?
    A U-Haul.

    But the truth is - it should go as fast or as slow as you're both comfortable with. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
    #6 Lexington, Aug 20, 2013
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