1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Possibly going to ruin a good relationship with my friend?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by lazyfire, Aug 19, 2013.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. lazyfire

    lazyfire
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2012
    Messages:
    117
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I'm going to start with the labels of the people so it is easy to understand who is who.

    B - the friend stuck in the middle.
    C- the friend that I don't like.

    C and I have been friends for 3 years now. C has grown overly attached to A so it makes them a bit uncomfortable. C tells me a bunch of poor choices that a therapist should be hearing. It stresses me out a lot and they already have many organizations going on simultaneously. "It is so hard to stay on track sometimes. I'm always tired!" I say.

    B is the friend that C and I share. B does not know how the relationship is as of right now and nor does C. I am still contemplating on whether or not it would be wise to tell B:
    "I don't want to be friends with C anymore. C is telling me all these problems that I don't need to hear. I'm not C's therapist. I have my own life and my own stuff to do. I can't always sit there on the phone 3 hours a day listening to things like: (I've had sex. What do I do with myself? etc)

    I have let the friendship grow too much and it has become a problem to stay focused on the important things. And, I don't want to leave B out of any friend hangouts because they are afraid C will find out through B.


    Should I tell B about the issue or just let it be?
     
    #1 lazyfire, Aug 19, 2013
  2. lazyfire

    lazyfire
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2012
    Messages:
    117
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    If you see 'A' - it is me.
    Sorry. I originally did that to make it easier but it seemed way too confusing to understand.
     
    #2 lazyfire, Aug 19, 2013
  3. Sunshine Cries

    Sunshine Cries
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2013
    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    CO
    I think you should tell B that C is bothering you to this point. The same thing happened to me last year, with a friend, where I became her unpaid therapist for bullshit problems. I had several of 'B' friends, none of which I told of the situation. Mixed with losing more friends and slipping grades, the stress of having a C friend was the last straw that led me to my first suicide attempt. When I later told my B friends after one more attempt, a visit to the psych ward, and switching schools, I had learned that they had been taken advantage of in the same way, albeit not as much as I had been.

    What I mean to say is, tell B. Because being in that kind of unhealthy relationship can start leading you to that kind of insanity. You might want to also start distancing yourself from C.

    Good luck and best wishes with this issue.

    ~Sunshine
     
    #3 Sunshine Cries, Aug 19, 2013
  4. lazyfire

    lazyfire
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2012
    Messages:
    117
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I'm glad you didn't actually commit suicide.
    It's weird how you mentioned it because I went through that. It was C's life that kept putting me down and distracting me.
    I felt like if I avoided her sooner I wouldn't have been as depressed over the summer.
    We always talked about boy problems and it got to the point where I became apathetic towards love because we talked about it so much.
    Honestly, I have so much to do and C can't accept that.

    C: "Hey can we talk?"
    Me: "Sorry, I'm really busy. I've got a lot of work piled up on me this week. May we talk later?"
    C: "whatever"

    That 'whatever' really hurt me. I'd actually typed a much longer response but was too lazy to type it again.

    It's just kind of boring talking to her. It's always the same 'junk'? Maybe that isn't the right word but anyways, I just got really annoyed how I'd get calls in the morning just to talk about her problems.
    Sometimes it's just a 'what's up' or 'hey' or 'I'm bored'.
    And, I'm like, "Your message said it was an emergency. LOL"
     
    #4 lazyfire, Aug 19, 2013
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)