Signs of Cheating

I obviously don't have every detail, but your last sentence pretty much sealed it for me that your boyfriend is probably messing around.

Even if he isn't, I think you have a right to feel a little uncomfortable with him having "sleep overs" with another gay dude.

 

Yeah, this is definately not a good sign...

 

Having a gay male friend who sleeps over is not good enough to conclude there is any cheating going on.

However, it's not a bad idea to express concern over the arrangement to your boyfriend. You guys should be able to talk about this stuff.

Don't accuse or jump to crazy conclusions right off the bat, but don't feel like you can't say something to him either.

 

This. You are certainly justified in expressing concerns over him having sleepovers with other men.

Beyond that...there isn't really one sign. A partner may suddenly become distant. Or they may suddenly become more intimate/sexual (different things), since their sex and romance drive is suddenly being fueled again...just by someone else. But either of these things could be caused by something else entirely, and often is. Talking to your partner is the only way you're going to get closure here.

 

Since when does two gay guys sleeping in the same space mean that they are having sex with each other? 0.o

I have two gay friends who I see as brothers and never in a million years would we ever mess around with each other. A lot of the times we spend the night over at each other places if the need arises, and specially when alcohol has been involved.

Talk to your boyfriend about this before coming to your own conclusions. Let him know how you feel and see what he thinks about it, but don't accuse him right away.

Nothing that people can say on this board will give you "concrete evidence" unless one of us has some texts or picture of them two messing around.

 

I will agree with both sides here and add in my two cents. There is a big difference between cheating and feeling like he is becoming disinterested in you and seeing someone else. so:

1) Chances are it would be weird for him to tell you he is sleeping over with another gay dude while simultaneously sleeping with him. It wouldn't be unheard of, but I am sure if he was super concerned with you finding out, than he wouldn't be telling you this.

2) Does he try to reassure you that nothing is happening between the two of them? Unless you have other reasons not to trust him than you should probably give your bf the benefit of doubt before you accuse him of cheating. However, if you express concern and he brushes it off that may be another issue entirely.

3) How is he with you compared to before? Do you have the same level of intimacy? If he is treating you differently maybe he is losing interest in the relationship? Again, nothing to come right out and accuse him about but an open conversation might be a good idea as others have suggested. If everything is normal between you two then maybe just mention this makes you very uncomfortable.

4) Meet the friend? Do you know this guy? Does he know you two are in a relationship? Just saying if you meet him it might ease your mind a little to see the way him and your bf interact.

Hope that helps. Either way, don't accuse. Just ask him and talk calmly. I am sure theres nothing to worry about.