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Have you ever cheated on someone?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by misunfortunate, Aug 23, 2013.

  1. misunfortunate

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    For most people, cheating is a mistake they make once or twice, not something they do to everyone on purpose. Even though me and the person I cheated on are over it and closer friends than ever, everyone wants them to hate me and the guilt is coming back even though I already suffered with it for months and forgave myself. I've lost everyone but one person, the person I cheated on long ago, and it's mainly because of this. So, have you ever cheated? How did you feel? Did you ever tell them? How did it affect your life and relationships? How are your feelings about cheating in general?
     
  2. AKTodd

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    Once, a long time ago. The relationship was already sinking fast due to other issues and a particularly negative experience just sort of drove me over the edge. Wasn't terribly secretive about it and we sort of broke up for a bit, while I saw the person I cheated with and he saw other people. Neither of us was very happy though and we kept tap-dancing around getting back together again.

    Eventually, we got back together for a time, but the same problems were still there and kept growing (and inviting friends) until I ended the relationship and moved out.

    This was all nearly 20yrs ago now.

    In general I'm certainly not a fan of cheating, but I'm also very aware that most situations are rarely as simple as TV (or must being on the outside of things) makes them seem.

    As far as how it impacted my life...when I moved out, I moved in with 3 gay housemates, who sort of folded me into their circle of friends. That led to socializing with a whole group of gay people, a really nice boyfriend, and a fairly happy (but far too short) period in my life. I ended up moving away due to work, hated my job, and eventually moved to Virginia where I met my partner of 16yrs. Things have overall been very good since then.

    Todd
     
  3. Jared

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    Once, on my first "boyfriend" The relationship was sinking fast and we were basically glorified fuck buddies, we weren't even official. I knew at the time that the relationship wasn't going to last and I was pissed that my bf didn't want to have sex again until I barebacked for him so I just went for it. Definitely not one of my choices that I'm proud of, but I'm honestly not sure I was still even with the guy at that point. I actually ended up breaking up with the guy the next time I saw him after I cheated, which was like three days later. I didn't tell him I cheated but that we weren't working out and wanted to move on. Funny thing is that he thought I was cheating on him with my best friend, who had a boyfriend, he basically didn't want me being around other gay guys I guess. So that was the end of that and the last time I ever spoke to him.

    I really don't like cheating, but like Todd I don't think it as black and white as it is portrayed to be. I feel like it's often the symptom of some underlying problem and not the actual cause of the root problem. I have parents who have had affairs and honestly their marriage was shit before the cheating started. I felt extremely guilty after I cheated and it's something that I can't see myself every doing again, I couldn't live with the guilt of being a cheater. The one good thing about me cheating was the guilt kinda pushed me to break up with the bf and I met my current boyfriend not long after and we have a much better relationship.
     
  4. myheartincheck

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    While I've never actually cheated, I've been accused of it. Not a good feeling.

    Also I feel that it isn't black and white. Many people cheat when they know the relationship they're in isn't really going anywhere. I know better than to stay with someone who ever cheats on me though.
     
  5. darth vader

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    never cheated on any of my exes.. i always try to put my feet in their shoes.. how would i feel if he would cheat on me?