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We hooked up and I find out he has a boyfriend?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by trevmc, Aug 24, 2013.

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  1. trevmc

    trevmc
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    Ok, so long story short, me and this guy that had been talking online for a while hooked up, i decided to just meet him and do it, since I havnt been with a guy now for a while. We had a really great time, and he really seemed into it, he was telling me how hot and cute I was , and even texted me after.

    So the next day I texted him again to see if he wanted to come over again. He seemed very uninterested all of a sudden, said he wanted to cuddle, so i told him thats fine come over then. He just ignored my text after that and I went to bed.

    So today at work, I decided to go onto Facebook and look him up. He only gave me his first name after we had sex, so it was abit of a challenge finding him. But alas, I go onto his profile, and he has a boyfriend. To be honest im not pissed off or anything, I feel abit guilty about it, the guy seems to have been with him though since 2011! So im just trying to figure what he was doing hooking up with me, if he is already in a commitment with someone. Yeah he is cheating, but I want to ask you guys if you think I will ever see this guy again , or he will just disappear seeing he hasnt texted me again after last night. Is this something you guys have done when you in your relationships with other guys?
     
    #1 trevmc, Aug 24, 2013
  2. qwr42

    qwr42
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    I would never cheat on anyone i am in an intimate relationship with. But unfortunately im not everyone, and people make mistakes (sometimes intentionally).

    Im gonna guess that you wont see him again, and i wouldnt suggest going after him because getting in the "way" of a relationship isnt a good idea.

    But ive never been in a serious relationship, so i have no clue, but i hope some of that helps.
     
    #2 qwr42, Aug 24, 2013
  3. phospholipase

    phospholipase Guest

    A lot of times, these guys are just looking for one night, and will drop you like a hot potato after. My vote goes to never seeing him again.
     
    #3 phospholipase, Aug 24, 2013
  4. srslywtf

    srslywtf
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    how do you know what kind of relationship they have? its not necessarily cheating
     
    #4 srslywtf, Aug 24, 2013
  5. Chip

    Chip
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    The fact that he didn't dlsclose that he was in a relationship, either before or after, or when being contacted in follow-up, leads me to believe that he is not in an open relationship, and that he was, therefore, cheating.

    Whether or not he wants to meet up again... I wouldn't. The last thing you want is to fall for someone who has no integrity about relationships. First, he definitely didn't disclose to you that he was in a relationship which is lying by omission (it was a material fact you might have wanted to consider in deciding whether to hook up with him), and assuming that he also didn't tell his partner... there'd be nothing to say he wouldn't do the same to you if he did break up and get into a relationship with you.

    I see little good that could come out of anything more with him. I'd chalk it up to experience and move on.
     
    #5 Chip, Aug 25, 2013
  6. trevmc

    trevmc
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    Thanks for the replies guys. Well he told me he wanted to meet again like on a regular occasion before we met, so thats why i was just confused when he seemed kind of off to me. Ive never had experience like this with another guy. When I look on his boyfriends facebook it seems like they had a fight aswell the day after he met with me, cause his status was about him not giving enough time for him. It all makes sense to me now though, why he didnt want me to come to his place originally, and why he started sending me such short texts after we met. Another thing he lied to me about, he told me he lives with his ex girlfriend, when he is actually living at the moment with his boyfriend and his father.

    I was never expecting issues like this from guys :/ Haha
     
    #6 trevmc, Aug 25, 2013
  7. phospholipase

    phospholipase Guest

    Just drop this fellow if you were hoping for something more than no-strings attached fun. He's either not in the situation to be looking for someone (in addition) to date, or he's not trustworthy enough at this moment with whom to enter a relationship.

    It does depend on what you hope to gain. Nothing says you can't meet up with him again for fun.
     
    #7 phospholipase, Aug 25, 2013
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