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I really like this guy but im not sure if he likes mee!! (bi)

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Christian098, Aug 25, 2013.

  1. Christian098

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    Okey im a black guy and I like this Mexican guy but im not sure if he likes me, in fact im not even sure if Mexicans get crushes on black people (I doubt they do). But here is my story.. ok ive liked this guy for about a year, he use to stare at me a lot back in 9th grade like whenever I looked at him he'd be looking at me, sometimes he'd look away really quickly and other times he'd keep staring and id look away because I get really nervous and scared.. one time when we were watching a movie in class in the dark he started whispering my name.. I like him so much that I started talking to him a lot more and I make him laugh a lot, he's even told me I was funny. Whenever im around him Id get nervous, and it seems I use to run into him a lot. But over summer break I told him I liked him through a Facebook message and he didn't say anything, he seen it though, Facebook showed me that he seen it. We started school 2 days ago and I been trying to avoid him because im so freaking nervous and scared, but he ended up in onn one of my classes and he stared at me more than he has ever stared at me. It's like he couldn't keep his eyes off me because he'd look at me then look away and kept doing soo.. but everytime I see him I avoid by going in opposite directions so I don't run into him. Im to scared and I want to know wat you guys thin k about this, does he like me?
     
  2. LD579

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    There are no hard and fast rules about whether someone from one racial background likes or dislikes another racial background. It really just depends on the person.

    With that said, it's possible that this guy likes you. It's also possible that he doesn't like you, to be honest. The only surefire way to know would be to ask him, and even then he may not give you a straightforward answer.

    Are you out to this person? How about to others, in general? And what is this person's attitude towards LGBT issues and people, as well as your school's and environment's? Knowing that might make it easier to know what'd be a smart move to take.
     
  3. resu

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    If you keep running away, he might put you in the friend zone. Note that the stares after you said you liked him (did you say it directly or subtly?) could also be made by a straight guy who's confused. I'm sure most guys, gay or straight, would be flattered to think someone is interested in them.

    Like Luthan said, the only way you know is to ask. To make this less awkward, you could start being more friendly to him. +1 to testing the waters by finding his opinion on LGBT issues.
     
  4. Christian098

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    I told him directly :eusa_doh:
     
  5. resu

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    No worries, you just cut to the chase. :grin:
     
  6. MilansMele

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    May I give you a few pieces of advice based on my own personal experiences?

    Don't make things up in your mind about other people... find out for sure and do it yourself.

    Don't run in the opposite direction and don't even avoid him. You will never get your questions answered until you talk to him.

    What's the worst that could happen? That he doesn't like you? Okay, even that is an answer to your questions. What's the best that could happen? He likes you? isn't that the answer to your dreams?

    Go for it.

    Good luck.

    Milan
     
  7. Christian098

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    Your right, im not going to avoid anymore
     
  8. Christian098

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    Anymore feedback? Id greatly appreciate it :/
     
  9. Rice and Pepper

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    I see three possible explanations.

    1) He is a weirdo who stares at people.
    2) He is a racist, and stares at you because of your skin tone
    3) He is interested in you

    The second one is the only possibility that involves negative feelings. But I think it is the easiest one to confirm, seeing who he hangs out with for example. Once you are sure it is not that, both the first and the third possibility mean that he has spotted somethin special on you, so what you have to do is find what his motivation is. In other words, you should simply go up to him and ask why he is staring at you. If he is a weirdo, you will receive a suitable answer or no answer at all. And if you phrase the question clever enough, you won't even out yourself bi, if that's discouraging you asking. And last but not least, if he is interested in you, you won the jackpot! If he doesn't answer, maybe you should insist a little. That way you will have him cornered and you will probably notice from his expressions if he has any feelings for you, even if he still won't answer.

    It's that simple in my opinion. Well, easier said than done, but I think all the aforesaid are valid. If you still are afraid of asking, how about staring back? But you must not forfeit this time. Keep looking and thinking "I am going to cream that mother******". Beating him at his own game will increase you selfconfidence, it will give you the chance to flirt while staring at him, because you will be the dominant person now, and maybe you will get the courage/nerve to ask him straightforward what he wants.

    Edit:
    Please do keep us updated. I had some similar experience last year, but I utterly failed to rise up to the occasion, because I was still way in the closet, and lost the hottest guy in the world. So I am really interested in knowing how your story ends up.
     
    #9 Rice and Pepper, Aug 27, 2013
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2013
  10. Christian098

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    But the fear of him knowing my feelings terrifies me, because when I told my feelings I basically just poured my feelings and everything..
     
  11. Rice and Pepper

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    Wait a minute. When did you pour your feelings? Do you mean on facebook? What did you tell him back then? There is a significant difference between saying you like him and pouring your feelings.

    Regardless, we can talk for years on end, but deep inside we both know that unless you ask, you will never know for sure.

    I lost my crush because I was to afraid to go up to him. To be honest, I would still be afraid. But I never got a good chance to talk to him and I have met him only 5 times in my life. All five gone to waste. And now he has left for the USA. You see your guy daily. Sooner or later you will find the right moment to ask him discreetly. But by then you must be psychologically prepared for that moment.

    The indirect way has already failed, he didn't answer when you asked him online. Either he isn't interested or he chickened out. So there is no other choice left. Ask him in person. No feelings pouring, just a simple question. Don't be defensive. It's time to make things straight and that's what you are going to do. If you delay more, he may lose interest in you, if there is any. My guy did when I decided to become more aggressive on our fourth encounter, and he pretended he hadn't seen me.

    In my opinion, you need a little time (just a week or so) to pull yourself together and build up internal momentum, to be ready to talk to him when you get the chance to. Seriously, it could be now or never. Never is an option too, but it would be such a pity if you choose it due to cowardice.


    All blabbering aside, my opinion is that you should make a move. If he responds negatively, the case is closed, you will have enough evidence to move on and forget him. But I still don't understand what you mean by "pouring your feelings".
     
  12. Christian098

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    You just gave the best advice I ever got, and your absolutely right about everything, im afraid that he'll lose interest if he ever did like me. But what I mean by pouring feelings is I told him EVERYTHING, like how I felt about him, how he made me feel, etc
     
  13. Rice and Pepper

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    Really?! Hahahaha! Thanks! I've never been told that before! I am touched...

    EVERYTHING, huh? Well, that was a bad move. However, he keeps staring at you, so whatever motivation he has is still there. In fact, come to think of it, it is a good think that you confessed your feelings back then. You can ask him why he is staring at you without getting into emotional details, because he already knows them. You just have to make sure to get the message across, that you still like him. I'd suggest you don't do that verbally, or at least say it covered up. You don't want him to panic and chicken out again.
     
  14. Christian098

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    Okey! Ill try it!! (Unless I get nervous) but thanks!!. You think maybe if I smile more at him? ?
     
  15. Rice and Pepper

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    Hahahaha! This is getting funny...

    It depends on what you want him to see. A seductive look means you mean serious business (along with a sneaky smile perhaps), a simple smile means you are cool, that he doesn't creep you out anymore and that it is natural that you will talk to him soon.

    Just remember to turn this into a game. Do not freak out while you are staring at each other. Compete to see who can stand longer. And even if you lose and turn your look away, just give a "damn it, I lost" smile and get back into the game. Staring is meant to be fun, not just a domination combat. How about practising in front of the mirror? Laugh at yourself too, it will help you get used to the thought and get rid of all that nervousness. Maybe think some catchphrases up, something that may come in handy if you talk to him?

    ---------- Post added 28th Aug 2013 at 10:30 PM ----------

    For example, "Do you have a map? Because I got lost in your eyes...". Now isn't that stupid? Okay, do not use that catch, but laugh at how stupid it is. Because basically, all that staring and smiling isn't actually serious. But who cares? Be silly. You are going to have selfconfidence and give it all you've got! Get out there and show that bastard what you are truly capable of!

    Just be careful if this backfires. That is, if he isn't interested in you and reacts negatively to your stare-flirting. If he seems annoyed, that's probably the end of it. If he tries to flee, then you can either call this a victory and move on to someone else, or go up to him and ask him why he was staring at you this whole time. He will have lost the game, so that will give you a chance to move closer.

    And last tip. Do one thing at a time. Don't be overwhelming. First the eye contact, slowly from simple looks to sheer seduction (or whatever you prefer) to see if how he is responding, and if all signs are good, then do the talking. It could be on different days too. Taking things too quickly won't give him a chance to breath.

    Ask me if you have questions and keep me updated. :icon_bigg
     
  16. Christian098

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    Woah! So I could think of it as a game?? I never thought of that idea.. ill do the mirror thing to (ill give that a try). I'll try the stare game and see what happens because I gotta good feel about this :grin:
     
  17. Rice and Pepper

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    Yes you could. In order to have fun, both sides must realize this is a game. You don't want to spook him. So I'd suggest you begin with cool looks at first and if he responds well move on slowly to playful ones, and then to seductive ones too. If you manage to get this far, then the talking will be just a typical procedure. On the other hand, if you notice that he doesn't respond well, for example if he turns away too quickly, or if you can't hold for long because you get too nervous, you could try quick looks. That is, look at him for a couple of seconds at a time, maybe smile, node, raise your eyebrow, and then turn away on your own.

    And most important of all, take your time. Don't be pushy and don't be hasty. It's not like he is going to disappear. You can find him any day.
     
  18. Christian098

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    Okey! Thanks!
     
  19. Hrantou

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    I just wanted to pop in and say that mexican guys do in fact get crushes on black guys...:grin:

    Sounds like you got a plan. I wish you luck! My advice: Be confident. Be direct. And most importantly, Be you. You are awesome.
     
  20. Christian098

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    You really think so? But thanks man! :slight_smile: I APPRECIATE YOU GUYS FEEDBACK!!! YOU GUYS THE BEST