1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How can I connect with other gays ?! (Newbie)

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Remie, Aug 26, 2013.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. Remie

    Remie
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2013
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Hey there everybody , I previously wrote on the coming out section about my situation. To make it short , after several years pretending to be straight , I now am making peace with the fact I am gay and I am in the process of coming out. The strange thing is I sort of feel like a little kid emotionally since I accepted my sexuality , I have no idea where to start , I am shy about it all and a bit nervous.All my friends are straight and they don't know the truth. I really want to start reaching to the gay community and learn to get out of my shell a bit. I wanted to go to my local gay club but then I was thinking it would look weird on my own , would it be weird to go to a gay club on my own ? I tried calling a gay helpline but the line is always busy. I wanted to know, when you started coming out , how did you meet people ? I am sorry if those questions sound stupid. Right now I know what I want but I have issues figuring out what I should do first....Thanks in advance for your help...
     
    #1 Remie, Aug 26, 2013
  2. C P

    C P
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2013
    Messages:
    1,826
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Traversing Weyard
    Too bad you probably don't live around this area. You sound like someone I'd befriend because I'm pretty much in the same boat at the moment, situation wise.
     
    #2 C P, Aug 26, 2013
  3. bingostring

    bingostring
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2008
    Messages:
    2,083
    Likes Received:
    113
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    It is never easy suddenly changing habits of a lifetime or ways of dealing with people.

    I found going to a club, especially on my own, to be a bit of an empty experience and only ever went with a friend or a group. Even then I did not particularly enjoy it as it really wasn't me.

    You mention getting "out of your shell" and I think this is what to focus on. It means stepping out and socialising at all levels and expanding your circle of friends some of these people will be gay.

    You could consider a LGBT group if there is one near you, a men's group. A theatre/cinema group.. the list is endless depending on your location (big city or not)

    There are some organised LGBT groups that hold residential retreat weeks for gay men - that was a breakthrough for me personally. Again, a question of tracking one down near you.

    I'd also suggest a therapist if you don't have one as a means of navigating yourself through these coming months and almost as a life coach and to help you understand and deal with all the feelings coming up for you

    All best wishes...

    ps: you say all your friends are straight? Don't be so sure !! ;-)
     
    #3 bingostring, Aug 26, 2013
  4. Remie

    Remie
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2013
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I live in Northern Ireland , Belfast. If you are from around there , let me know :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 27th Aug 2013 at 07:50 AM ----------
    Yes , I am working on those things at the moment ...I tried to get help with socializing with other gays but its not really easy , I tried reaching to a gay local helpline but they don't answer the phone and they don't answer emails , I have been trying for the last three days :frowning2: I might have to work things out by myself..
     
    #4 Remie, Aug 27, 2013
  5. bingostring

    bingostring
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2008
    Messages:
    2,083
    Likes Received:
    113
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    If you are in the UK theres a few organisations I can suggest... Maybe I can post on your wall?
     
    #5 bingostring, Aug 28, 2013
  6. srslywtf

    srslywtf
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2013
    Messages:
    780
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Australia
    It is really hard going to a group on your own hey.. esp if you're like me and get anxious/lose self confidence.

    What I would suggest is getting in contact with the local group and asking about it - if you're lucky they'll have a super friendly organiser who will offer to introduce you to people.. if its like that its a little different to turning up on your own :slight_smile:

    If that doesn't happen, I'm not sure...
    Until then, I'll be your online friend.. cos I'm in the same position you are, on the other side of the world.
     
    #6 srslywtf, Aug 28, 2013
  7. Remie

    Remie
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2013
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I'm planning to see what club I could get into to meet gays locally .. I called a gay helpline yesterday , we spoke for 30 minutes , it was conforting in some way but not very useful, he just told me to go either to a local gay nightclub I knew about or a gay bar I also knew about... I told him on my own ?! And he said there will be nothing weird about it... I personally will feel like a bit desperate going to those places on my own ... I'll also be happy to consider you my friend who's going through the same thing as me but on the other side of the world :thumbsup:

    ---------- Post added 28th Aug 2013 at 07:18 AM ----------
    That would be great , please do so.Thank you in advance!
     
    #7 Remie, Aug 28, 2013
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)