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Came out to college roommate

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by purple33, Aug 29, 2013.

  1. purple33

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    So i am only two weeks into college and my roommate comes out and asks my if im gay. She said she noticed i went to a meeting for the club spectrum which is our gay straight alliance on campus. I told her that ive been trying to really explore who i am and that i basically do think im a lesbian.

    Shes told me that she doesnt feel very comfortable rooming with me anymore. She said that she doesnt know if shes paranoid or not but she thinks ive been looking at her. She has definitly been paranoid because lesbian or not i dont think of her in those ways at all. I told her this but im not sure if she still feel uncomfortable or not. I dont want to switch roomates but how can i feel comfortable anymore when she thinks every move i make means im in love with her.

    This is why i was so worried about telling all my new friends here in college who i really am. i dont know if they will react the same way my roomate did.
     
  2. AKTodd

    Full Member

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    Ultimately, its up to your roommate if she wants to move out (it's her problem, so it should be on her to move). If she brings up the issue of thinking you're looking at her, I'd suggest telling her very matter-of-factually that that's quite impossible since you don't think she's in any way attractive (this worked quite well for me when I was in college and coming out to male housemates).

    As far as your friends, you don't live with them so I'd think they have even less cause to worry then your roommate. And if they are truly your friends then they won't care. If they do care, they aren't worth your time anyway.

    Todd
     
  3. Sardonic

    Full Member

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    I agree with what Todd said. In addition, something I find useful with this sort of thing is that you calmly point out that just as she wouldn't want to be in a lesbian relationship, that you aren't attracted to someone who's straight. Explain to her that it makes no sense for you to fall in love with her because, simply put, it wouldn't be very enjoyable for you! I tell my friends that I while I can comment on a guy's looks, I'm not really interested in hopeless, impossible love.