Do you think coming out is necessary?

There are several ways you can see 'coming out'.

1. An outward expression of personal acceptance
2. A polite warning to people who might need some time to adjust
3. A formality similar to "I have a girlfriend"
4. A way of preventing that awkward tension when you bring a same-sex partner home to meet your family

In an ideal world, nobody would have to because in an ideal world nobody cares. In an ideal world nobody is thinking in terms of orientation. But we don't live in an ideal world and people still get hung up on the idea.

For parents, their child coming out can give them time to prepare. To think about all the stupid things they might accidentally say when they meet your partner so as not to embarrass anyone.

For family, it can be a warning period. As you said, many families don't take kindly to the idea of homosexuality for all sorts of reasons, none of them any good. It gives them and you time to decide what your opinions of the situation are and how to handle them so you don't have to have a massive fight when it comes up unexpectedly.

For some it's literally just letting people know you accept who you are and embrace it. That's why a lot of us will choose to wear a rainbow. While there are still people out there who will do any number of awful things to you just for being this way, it takes strength to come out and say it but it also means that you've theoretically got this back up of people who will stick up for you when you need it.

You don't have to come out and make a big thing of it, but sometimes it helps.

 

Well, unless you plan to be single forever you're going to have to come out one way or another.

Anyway, you're so young, don't sweat it. I'm 10 years older than you and I haven't come out to anyone as yet.

 

if your bisexual, you can 'hide' your sexuality forever by never actually having a same sex partner.

On the other hand, at some point you want to share your same sex partner or your life with your friends and your family, you will have to 'come out'

 

Invariably at some point you will have to come out. Or do you want to spend the rest of your life hiding in your secret life with nobody to talk to about your problems or your relationship(S)? You don't have to come out at 16, or 17 or 18. There is no magic number. At some point though you will need support with your sexuality and people to talk to about your relationship(S). So yes coming out is necessary for your own mental health and general well being, otherwise it will become toxic. It doesn't mean you need to come all out waving a rainbow flag and let the entire town know your bisexual though. I would suggest going to an LGBT meeting at your school if they have one and talk to people there. Don't worry about it though, it will be all right just let it be. When you come out likely the people around you already will know before you even told them or may already know.

 

I think a time will come when coming out is redundant to a degree, but in this day and age coming out creates awareness, or draws attention to problems that face GBLTi like suicide and depression, homophobia and bullying...especially with our teens and youth.

Coming out is not a prerequisite to being GBLTi and there are many reasons why some people may feel the need to to announce their sexuality to the world. Some people see coming out as 'much ado about nothing', other find coming out empowering.

There are as many reasons for and against coming out as there are individuals and each persons choice deserves to be respected rather than scorned because you don't agree with their beliefs. Same with life in general really

 

I think coming out is necessary to some degree. I got to the point where I couldn't bottle it up any more, I just had to tell someone (fell for a guy for the first time). Telling my friend that, that night, who thought I was straight previously, was the most liberating experience I can remember. That release, that pure, raw ventilation, is why I had to come out to her. If I didn't, I would have driven myself insane trying to understand it.

I would never, though, come out to my family. My dad is a minister, and I used to play piano at my church and listen to him preaching against homosexuality week upon week. The homophobia there is insufferable, and my dad thinks lower of homosexuals than pretty much anyone. It may, though, still be necessary that one day they know. Perhaps as a wake up call, I'm not sure.

But at least having one friend, or a small group of friends, or a lover even know, was essential for me.

 

I think it's sort of necessary to come out. For me, it just got to the point that after three years, I couldn't bottle it up anymore, so I told me my best friend to this day. He took it very well, and today I am almost completely out, I just need to tell about four people, and I'll be done. I'm thinking of just making a Facebook post saying I'm gay, just to get everything settled. For me, coming out was a way to express myself, and so that I didn't have to live a lie in my mind anymore. Other people may have different reasons, it just varies from person to person.

 

Personally coming out, is very necessary. Living a lie, you start to forget who you are. find out who you are, and be proud of it.

 

I had to come out because not doing so was driving me insane. It was affecting my relationship with my partner because I felt guilty all the time that I was hiding it. But I've only come out to a few people at the moment. For now that's enough for me. At some point though it may be necessary in the future to come out to more people. So yes...to an extent it is entirely up to you. You do whatever makes you happy!

 

I was in the process of coming out when life shoved me back in (the company I worked for went under and caused a cascade that landed me back in my bedroom at my parents house). I lived 50 miles from my family and nobody in my family knows, but 95% of the people I interacted with daily knew. When I told my friends half said they had suspicions. Most of the other half had the discussion of 'you don't act like a gay guy' with me replying 'appearently I do cause I'm gay and this is how I act" but otherwise didn't have any more reaction than if I told them what I had for brekfast. There were a few who were upset and kinda avoided me for a bit but came around in a short while (my closest friends and it was more they felt I'd been lying to them more than me gay bothered them).

---------- Post added 31st Aug 2013 at 08:53 AM ----------

The only real difference after the dust settled was me. I mean my friends still treated me the same (except they would playfully tease me about being gay and would get teased about being straight in return), we hung out, pretty much nothing from the outside changed. The difference was I felt comfortable that if I went out on the weekend and something happened I didn't have to change my story from he/his to she/her. I was no longer afraid of them following my gaze and seeing a guy there. Oh and there was an outside change I didn't have to make up excuses why I wasn't interested in going out with "that girl they know". I was actually comfortable being me and for the first time in my adult life I was truely happy.

---------- Post added 31st Aug 2013 at 09:03 AM ----------

Now I live over 90 minutes away from my friends and work an hour away in the opposite direction. I play the role of 'straight guy' at home because I'm not ready to tell my family yet I play the role of 'straight guy' at work because even though this town seems more tolerant than where I moved from I don't want to lose my job if someone finds out. So here I am back in the closet....twice as miserable as before because I know what I'm missing. Its kinda like a virgin may say sex isn't important but let someone give it to them for a few months then stop I bet they change their tune.

This is my experience with coming out and why when I get back self-stable I'm gonna come out again. But every case is different.