How to stop being so concerned about my parents expectations?

Buy that bracelet and see what happens. Seriously.

You know you're not the perfect little girl and so do they. More over, you're 17 and shouldn't need to ask permission to buy a piece of jewellery!

If they kick up a fuss you have your reason to argue. You can tell them about how restricting the whole thing is if you want or tell them that you can live your own life. If they don't say a thing hopefully it will help you realise that you don't need their approval for most things because it doesn't actually concern them!

 

Don't be surprised if your parents don't bat an eyelid at the bracelet once you've bought it. Sometimes we do pretty well at projecting our uncertainties on people where they mesh into their expectations or even overshadow what they are. And even if it does turn out that their expectations and the bracelet collide - you have a lifetime to show them that you can exceed their expectations and possibly your own.

Try not to be too worried over university. Anyone who walks onto campus and claims to be super cool at the situation or knows it all is either shitting bricks I private or doing their Masters

 

Your parents might be proud that they raised their daughter to be her own person and not compromise being herself for anyone. I think I would be if I had kids anyway.

 

It's very normal to be concerned about what your parents think about you and to want their approval. I'm in my 40's and still feel that way. It's sounds like you are a good person who just wants to be true to herself. Buy that pride bracelet. Stand strong and confident. Parents, above all else, want to see their children happy. Be respectful and kind to your parents, but don't compromise who you are.

 

Buy that bracelet, girl. Like mentioned above, I'm sure it won't get a double take or two but like what my wife tells me...our parents..love us because we are their children. No matter what, they do. And sometimes it takes some time to realize that.

Respect and love your parents but I hope that doesn't stop you from being the wonderful person you are.

 

Wow does this sound familiar! It took me 35 years to realize that I was living my life for my parents' approval and in a way which raised their esteem in the eyes of everyone else. This continued long after I recognized that it was happening and had resolved to stop. This, I am certain, is one of the main reasons I spent 18 years living in denial (and another 10 living in the closet).

Recognizing the problem is the first and most important step. It appears you have done that. For me, what followed next was an acknowledgement that I have only one life. It is mine and mine alone to live. I can not fully respect MYSELF if I am making decisions and governing myself according to what my parents or anyone else thinks.

Try to understand why your parents would expect you to act in a particular way. Is it reasonable? Logical? Almost everyone eventually ends up "disappointing" their parents in some way. It is natural. It is a part of life. If they don't immediately, they will eventually understand. And they will respect you more for having the courage to be yourself.

 

Holly,

I don't know you at all, but from your posts here and how you respond to people, you strike me as someone who is very comfortable with who they are and how they want to be perceived through actions and speech. It's an admirable way to be and is an amazing quality to develop early on in life. Your feelings towards your parents are very normal and to be expected. It tells me that you will always have a strong relationship with them and if they are anything like you, then they are going to be as accepting of that bracelet as they are to who you are as a person.

Good luck!