Well, I was born male but believe myself to be female on the inside. I am getting prepared for the start of my university course. The issue really is my mum (I have already come out to her a while ago btw). When it comes to expressing myself, she has the exact opposite opinions to me. And there are some problems I don't know how to deal with: 1) "You need a haircut" - I'd much rather not. I want to have long hair but mum's booking hairdresser appointments in front of my rather transphobic brother who I haven't come out to yet. It's hard to confront her while she keeps doing this in front of my brother. And, of course, he's always there when she tries to force me to go with her. 2) Verbal attacks - "I totally support you" is always the starter and "I love you however you want to be" keeps popping up. Then, she says "you'll never pass as a women", "you'll get beaten up if people find out", "don't expect to have any friends if you do this", "I hate to see you doing this to yourself", etc. Whenever I talk to her about this stuff, she says this and it really hurts me. I am not getting a haircut! Yet it's so hard to do anything because my brother's always around when she tries to make me go. And the things she says whenever I confront her are so hurtful. What do you think I should do about this? :help:
You're living my life UIOP! Which sucks because I hate how my mum makes ME feel so I know you must as well. OK with the hair thing, if you're looking at uni then screw her. It's your head and having long hair has nothing to do with gender. If your brother is around when you confront her just ask what's wrong with having long hair. If she outs you (which hopefully she won't do) then you have all the reasons you could ever need to never do what she says again. The verbal attacks thing I can really relate to. Remember that she ALMOST has a point. It won't be easy. But then nothing is easy, but it's better to find things difficult and be comfortable in your own skin than to find it easy AND feel crappy inside! Remind her that you're not doing it just to make things difficult or because you can. Maybe ask her what she's so worried about! EDIT: And don't get that haircut! I had mine done last year for charity and I regret that now more than ever! I don't like wearing a wig much!
