My girlfriend and I don't get to see each other as often as she would like and I feel the same way. However, being a parent takes away most of my time and she's been very understanding. I mean, I've warned her in the beginning that this would happen and that perhaps, she'd be better off with someone who can devote their time and attention to her. Yet, she has reassured me that she wants to be with me. And well, it has been pretty busy these past few weeks because of school starting again. I have three boys and they are all in school now, and with that being said, money has been tight. Well, we have plans this weekend, but I told her that I may have to cancel, and she was clearly upset. So, she decided to ignore me yesterday and I didn't catch on until later in the day. I tried calling her before she went to work (she works 11pm-7am.) Yes, it was less than 24 hours, but I knew something was wrong because we talk every day. Later that night around midnight she sent me a text (she was working) pretty much telling me how she was still upset. And I asked her how did she think ignoring me would solve anything. She admitted that it was immature and that she will get better at expressing herself. I was really hurt and I still am, because it brings up past issues with my father growing up that still bother me to this day. I hate being ignored, it is the quickest way for me to shut down. Then again, am I overreacting? We're adults and giving me the silent treatment is not cool AT ALL. I'm not sure if I should take this as red flag #1, because I have ignored red flags before in past relationships and I'm not doing that any more. I'm just afraid that this could possibly happen again, so perhaps she and I would be better off as friends. I'm the type of girl that gives the person I am dating three strikes and they're out! I'm not going to wait around to get hurt again because in that case, I'd rather be single. Not only that, I didn't exactly cancel; I said that I "may have to cancel" and this is how she chooses to react? I was going to let her know for sure today, and it appears that I will be able to see her this weekend. However, I don't even want to see her now because I'm being cautious. Okay, enough rambling...any advice is greatly appreciated, thanks.
It was a mistake but I wouldn't break up with her right now over it (At least she admitted that she was wrong). If you start to notice a pattern then it may be a real problem. Just my opinion though. Good luck
Thanks for the quick reply. I don't plan on breaking up with her over this, it's just that I would like to see her this weekend. However, because of what happened, I know that I am going to act differently towards her. I'm a Cancer - the sensitive crab, so I've automatically put up my defenses again.
I wouldn’t get too overwork about this. She was just frustrated that she wasn’t going to see you. Humans make mistakes all the time, it makes us human. If she’s keep giving you the “silent treatment” in the future then you have a problem. Just make sure that she knows that you don’t like that and go on from there. I would forgive her. Do you have any relatives that they watch your kids for a night or two? Maybe you could treat her in doing something with her (that doesn’t require money) like walking around park or something out of the ordinary and I think she’ll feel a lot better. I know I would,
Ignoring you because you MIGHT have to cancel is pretty immature. I'd take note... I guess forgive but not forget if you know what I mean.
Ignoring you because you were busy is pretty immature, but at least she's admitted so which is always a positive thing. I'd say warn her that you honestly don't appreciate being ignored like that over something so silly and see where it goes from there.
I think that you were both hurt by this incident. Perhaps she is just missing you and feeling insecure, although you did tell her that your children take up a lot of your time. And, maybe you are feeling a little insecure of her reaction to you when you said you MAY have to cancel, because it brings up issues from your past, which I understand all so well. So perhaps, it might be a good idea for you two to meet sometime this weekend, so you can both talk about your feelings, and how you both reacted. You might need to remind her that you did tell her that your children really do require a lot of your time, and its nothing personal against her. Also, I think she needs to know how her reaction of "ignoring" you and giving you the silent treatment, triggers issues from your past. However, if she keeps treating you this way, then its definately a red flag! Best of luck to you and your girlfriend.
Thanks for the advice & I have forgiven her. And yes, my kids visit their Nana during the weekends, so I do have free time then. It's funny that you mentioned taking a walk in the park because that's what we planned on doing ---------- Post added 5th Sep 2013 at 08:18 PM ---------- Thanks everyone for the advice, I really do appreciate it. I am going to visit her this weekend because I'm sure she's feeling neglected, so I can see why she was upset. And I will discuss my issues with being ignored because I do not want the same thing to happen again. Thanks again
